The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
05/03/12
The dialog was well written, kept an upbeat, fun tempo at the beginning of the story & kept it alive during the transition to the sadder part. The characters were vivid, the writing making you almost see them grinning at each other in their friendship.

It was great to see that they had enough of a friendship developed to have the gentleman make a decision to go to church after hearing his doctor's news...the female MC was obviously someone who knew real riches, and had been sharing that with her boss all along.

Good read!
This is a clever take on the topic. I loved you you covered it with the cheesecake, then with the knowledge of life and what it means and lastly with the sense of hope that the MC will truly discover what it means to have riches stored in heaven. You did an excellent job of developing the characters and holding my attention from beginning to end.
05/04/12
A delightful story with great dialogue. A good read and great take on the topic. Well done. God bless!
05/04/12
A very well written story that flowed nicely from beginning to end. I like how the MC stayed steady even upon hearing about her boss' diagnosis. Their professional yet familiar relationship was enjoyable to read. Good work here!
05/05/12
This was a powerful story that held my attention throughout.

I enjoyed the interaction with the two MC's...and although he had cancer and a dim prognosis, it has an alternate ending for me. I believe going to church and receiving Jesus as his savior will turn his life around. And with prayer and faith, anything is possible...so maybe a miracle is coming.

Great job...thanks for this.

God Bless~
05/07/12
Great dialogue and very well written. The point is well made. Thanks.
05/08/12
An excellent piece!