Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Search Engine (10/06/11)
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TITLE: The Angel of Light | Previous Challenge Entry
By Colin Swann
10/18/11 -
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may search the earth
and bring to light -
things hidden from our sight.
I Uriel, on reaching the Abaddon Plain beheld before me Mammon Mount in the shape of a great monster which was supporting a diseased and leprous earth. This gigantic beast was reeling as if about to crumble and lose its grip of the earth's dark mass. Voices cried out, 'More, more, give us more,' as the mount took on the appearance of a skeletal giant. It faced the earth with a golden glow and offered hope and prosperity, but behind the glorious golden screen – an infestation of moths, locust and all kinds of destroying creatures crawled around gnawing at its foundation and had eaten away its rotten inner core. I heard a cry: 'Fallen! Fallen! The mighty have fallen – the rich shall be no more – the sickle shall rust and a crust of bread will be a ransom for a life.'
I travelled on and beheld leaders of nations who were betrayers of the people. I witnessed Satan's minions clasping the hands of these governors and leading them into the sin of corrupting my Lord's earth. Warfare was their false peace-making and their lofty words were a disdain on the Lord's truth. They declared peace when there was no peace and offered hope through their hypocritical dealings and false claims. The leaders' eyes were blinded by greed and selfish personal gain. I saw their subjects languishing under their harsh laws and foolish judgements: elderly people were being dishonoured and the young being taught to set their eyes on gain and fame. I saw a judgement coming on leaders who misled their flocks and shipwrecked the lives of many.
I passed on and travelled through the midst of a corrupted humanity and witnessed a demonic attack on our God's grace of unity. Children were bereft of the loving care my God intended from the institution of the family relationship made in his image. Little by little the foundation of humanity laid by the Maker was eroding: life was being cut short by heinous crimes; the young were being ravaged by devilish temptations – their blood tainted by gross misuse and abuse; the female species had taken on a hard exterior in place of a lovely softness; men had become greedier than the ravenous wolf with no concern for neighbour or acquaintance. I heard a declaration proceed from heaven: 'The fullness of time has come to bring an end to the unredeemed and sinful of the earth!'
The horror of horrors awaited me as I passed by and beheld the ferocious attack on my Lord's throng of saints. False followers were betraying the world by devilish and false miracles. A man was being carried on a golden throne and many were crying, 'Great is our god – the god of the whole universe!' What was just and right was declared unrighteous and an assault was made on all that was lovely, honourable and true. My Lord's people were harassed and hounded by violent and bloodthirsty mobs and their spilled blood became a martyr's stream that provoked the hot anger of the Lamb of God. I saw men like descendant giants of Anak being transformed and changed into crawling creatures and being trodden underfoot by the masses, and anarchy and self rule reigned.
I heard a loud trumpet which sounded throughout the whole earth and I saw my Lord coming in the clouds, with the host of heaven, to avenge the wickedness done to his people in the latter days. The sinners and wicked were hiding from the face of the Lamb and calling for death rather than to face his burning anger. A proclamation from the Arch Herald resounded and shook the very foundations of all that was built on earth. My Lord came in great glory and victory to put down all that was lofty and lifted up. I saw my Lord cleansing the world by fire and setting up a new order for the heavens and the earth. I heard the Herald cry: 'The kingdom of our Lord has come and his victory has vanquished all the enemies of the Most High God – glory is to him forever and ever. Amen! '
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My only criticism is the Search Engine topic isn't really presented; the idea of searching/seeking is given at the beginning, but not really in context to the topic.
I really do love this style of writing and thank you for having the courage to enter it! Well done.
It wasn’t clear to me how you were approaching the topic in this, was it as the angel’s mind, supposed to be the search engine, searching as he went from place to place and then bring the information up for mankind to see and be warned
or was a computer the monster in the first paragraph, offering answers of false hope?
This was written with boldness and beauty and I agree with Leola, this awesome piece of writing needs to be published and I hope it is able to be read beyond this Faith Writers challenge. What a blessing this was to read!
Overall, well written with lots of potential.
Your first paragraph drew me in, literally, as I leaned in feasting on the words. The entire piece is powerful, and compelling, but there was a dramatic shift after the first paragraph. The first paragraph is nearly all symbolic, which I love, but is not for everybody.
I like what Edmond said about characterization building. For most of the piece, we're told about what the angel sees, so there's a lot of 'telling' going on. If you were to alternate between the 'telling' and some 'showing' (like, say, showing the angel or another character in action, to reveal what's going on) -- it would add to this piece.
I agree with everyone who believes this is publishable. Expand it to a larger piece, use the advice posted above, and send that baby out!