Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Black (10/15/09)
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TITLE: No Light Will Be Found | Previous Challenge Entry
By Deborah Ann Belka
10/22/09 -
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In darkness he’ll reign.
Unrighteousness is his harness,
Apostasy his rein.
He who rides on the back,
Of this evil menacing steed;
Holds the straps of iniquity,
And the bridle of greed.
His power is so ruthless,
Ungodliness will abound.
His wickedness so dark,
No light will be found.
The blackness he's bringing,
Will cause all to go blind.
He will restrain God’s love,
So, he can control every mind.
The black horse is galloping,
He’ll be charging our way.
Bringing God’s judgments,
On scales he will weigh.
Holding out the balances,
Of every good and bad deed.
Suppressing God’s truth,
So, to him everyone will heed.
He’s going to bring about,
A real spiritual hunger.
Only those with his number,
Can buy from this monger.
He’ll take out his whip,
Lash out at God’s word.
He's driven to ride hard,
So, Salvation's not heard.
The black horse is waiting,
Waiting for the third seal;
To be opened by the angel,
So, God’s light he can steal.
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I appreciated that you used punctuation - a lot of poets don't, but it makes a poem easier to read. However, I don't think that you need the commas after the "so" at the beginning of the line. It breaks up the thought in a needless way.
Great poem!