Lifetime Achievement Award | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Lifetime Achievement Award | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tim Pickl
03/10/12
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TIFFANY
Welcome everyone to the first annual High School Academy Awards presentation!
(audience applauds) Thank you, thank you very much. Our school came up with the idea, and we hope it spreads across the country, and around the world.

ADDIE
After much planning, preparation and perspiration (audience laughs) this night has finally arrived. The “real” Academy Awards are presented around this time of the year, and we wanted to have our own version of it.

TIFFANY
While the “real” Academy Awards are a competition in dozens of different categories, we decided that there are enough awards so that everyone in the school would get one.

ADDIE
With one twist: We decided to post all the categories on Facebook and have everyone vote, in a ranking system, from 1 to 5. The person with the most votes wins the High School Academy Award for that category.

TIFFANY
And we know what you’re thinking—the rumors are flying. Who will win the most coveted category of—drum roll puhleez...

ADDIE
Best Drama Queen? Oh, that’d definitely be you, Tiffany.

TIFFANY
Like, whaddya mean by that? I KNOW it’s YOU, Addie-kins. (reaches over and gently pulls Addie’s hair)

ADDIE
Ouch! Take that! (reaches over and pulls Tiffany’s hair)

(Security Officer dressed in black uniform rushes out on stage and breaks them up)

OFFICER
Okay ladies, break it up. I think we can give them both this award. (pulls out two awards and hands one to Addie, then Tiffany. audience laughs) Can you finish now, like ladies?

TIFFANY
Yes sir.

ADDIE
Yes.

OFFICER
Proceed. (makes a hand gesture, and mouths the words, I’m watching you.)

TIFFANY
First, I would like to thank the High School Academy for this prestigious award. It was, like, totally unexpected. This is just WONderful. (wipes a tear away with a finger)

ADDIE
I thank the High School Academy for SO shocking me, and allowing me to share this honor with my best frenemy on the planet, Tiffany. (audience chuckles) Okay, gotta pull it together, now! On to the rest of the awards. We decided to start the show with a bang, and, we ourselves were surprised!

TIFFANY
After much deliberation, we came up with the idea of the Lifetime Achievement Award.

ADDIE
And while the Lifetime Achievement Award on the surface may not seem like a huge delio, especially for a High School student, we opened up the voting to teachers, coaches and the High School staff.

TIFFANY
So, it is with a great privilege—a HUGE honor—to present the first High School Lifetime Achievement Award tonight.

ADDIE
The envelope, please.

TIFFANY
Here you go!

ADDIE
The Lifetime Achievement Award goes to Marcia—the cafeteria lady! (the audience thunderously applauds and cheers. Marcia ambles her way from the audience up the stairs on to the stage.) Marcia has faithfully served in our High School cafeteria for dozens of years.

TIFFANY
We aren’t gonna tell exactly how many years. We don’t wanna embarrass her. She’s, like, always been there for all of us. She answers our nutrition questions, and is willing to go the extra mile to listen to our dietary needs.

ADDIE
I remember one time, too, Marcia sat down and had lunch with me, and listened as I poured out my heart about some personal things I was dealing with. I know she’s helped many of you out there, too. Thank you, Marcia.

TIFFANY
Here she is, Marcia! (thunderous applause and cheers.)

MARCIA
(in tears, grabs her Award) Oh, you have certainly surprised me! I thought dis was all for the students. (pauses, cries some more) Thank you so much. You are all so very nice to me. I love serving you.

ADDIE
And, Marcia…we have a surprise for you tonight! (motions stage right. Bob makes his way on stage.)

MARCIA
Bob? I thought you just dropped me off. You said you “hated deez shows.”

BOB
I did say dat, an’ I meant it. But dis is different. Dis time dey are giving honor to whom honor is due, and dat is you, my sweetheart, my lover, my life. (all at once, the audience says awwwww) You deserve dis award.

MARCIA
Thanks Bob. I couldn’t-a done it wit-out you. You dropped me off here at work every mornin’ at 5:00. Thanks… (she embraces Bob, and the award sparkles in the spotlight. The audience says awwwww again.)

TIFFANY
There you have it, the first High School--

ADDIE
Lifetime Achievement Award! (thunderous applause and cheers)

TIFFANY
What an inspiration.

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