The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Crime and Punishment (not about the book) (07/21/11)
I look longingly across the wall towards the orchard. The apples lay red and succulent on the green platter of grass still wet from the night dew. Droplets of water on the fallen fruit seemed to transform them with an enticing jewel like quality.

I am tired from my night in the haystack. I need breakfast. Staying out all night does not seem like any type of a crime. Stealing apples does. I will be breaking a commandment: 'THOU SHALT NOT STEAL.' .

My stomach grumbles. My throat feels empty. Is it worth it? Will I really end up in hell? Will God be upset about an apple or two? If Eve is anything to go by, then yes, He will. Won't He? Perhaps not? Maybe God won't see?

My legs leap over the low crumbling stone wall. A red, round, rosy and freshly fallen apple is in my hands. Guiltily I lift the forbidden fruit to my lips. My teeth sink deep into the sweet juicy flesh. The fizz of the sap oozes out making my mouth and taste buds long for more, and the sweetness trickles down my chin.

“FOUND HIM!” I hear my mother's feet, running. She is weeping. Her voice is crying, 'Thank God.' over and over. Stern, my Father with his 'You are in such trouble' face stands by. Then, to my surprise. he leans over and grasps me to him and hugs me tightly. Their love and worry reassures me. Perhaps they want me?

My crime seems to be running away. My punishment to be grounded forever and ever. I just tried to give them a break from me. As adventures go, a night in the hay all alone is scary, not comfortable and not an experience I want to repeat. Everyone seems upset and relieved to see me all at the same time. It is confusing considering they said I was “a nuisance” the day before. They should have been glad to be rid of me for a bit.

Nobody mentions the apple at all.It seemed odd to me that they would punish me for an adventure and for trying get out of the way for a bit then ignore the crime I committed while doing it. Didn't they notice those stolen apples?

I wake at nights worrying. I took an apple and therefore, I am thief. I broke a commandment and would go to hell. Why? I would wonder, aren't my parents concerned about that?
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1027 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
07/29/11
Good story line - and reference to the Garden Of Eden. I like that the child was "lost" but was found by his parents, and embraced and forgiven. As our Father in heaven will embrace all the "lost sheep" and welcome them home. Good job..God Bless~
Noel Mitaxa 
08/04/11
You opened up some great reflection and dialogue, but you closed off well inside the word limit. I would have liked to see more of this. is there a second chapter in the wings????
Linda Goergen
08/04/11
Congratulations on HC win – your story contains so much food for thought written inside wonderful vision – your award is so well deserved!