The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
Very entertaining. I love a good chuckle in the morning.

As soon as I saw the word elephant I knew a mouse would be around the corner!

It was a lovely well-written story. I could picture Margaret and the kids dancing on the table.
03/05/10
Fun, catchy title and a very well told story. You did very well bringing the characters alive to the reader.
Great opening line at the start and introduction to the "visitor". This was well-organized, flowed smoothly and held my attention all the way through. Good job with giving each quotation its own line, and you also separated the paragraphs nicely, which made it easy on the eyes. I also loved how you wrapped it up at the end by going back to the beginning elephant comparison; it really tied it all together. Well done!