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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “All that Glitters is Not Gold” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/24/08)
The wail of a whistle
Drifts o’er the breeze.
Its cries tantalize.
It’s calling me.

I want to fly free,
Not weighted down
By this iron plow.
It’s holding me.

Working, trudging,
Dusty row by row,
No achievement to show.
It’s choking me.

Tied to this farm,
I’ll never be loose,
To do what I choose
It’s crushing me.

Adventures and fame,
Gaiety, pleasures, ease
Oh, Father… please?
It’s calling me.

The lights, excitement,
Friends, money, and wine,
Extravagance is mine!
It’s thrilling me!

Feast, mistress, or music
Laughing, dancing
What is your fancy?
It’s all on me.

Empty? Finished?
Friends turn away.
Come back! Stay!
They’re leaving me.

Hungry and shivering
Picking through trash
Sir, a bit of cash?
It’s shaming me.

Remembering home
Hearth, clothing, and food
But, I’m worth no good.
It’s humbling me.

Maybe…perhaps?
A servant for hire,
To see home, my desire.
It’s calling me.

Father, I’m sorry.
This honor’s reserved
Not mine, to deserve
He’s forgiving me.
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This article has been read 1888 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Joanne Sher 
02/01/08
Love the repetition of the last word of each verse - very effective. Nicely done rendition of the prodigal.
Benjamin Graber
02/01/08
I like this one a lot - it is a creative retelling of the parable of the prodigal son, written in a way we can all relate to.
Holly Westefeld
02/05/08
Nicely done. Interesting form. I liked the progression of the MC's focus in the fourth line of each stanza. Being a creature of pattern, I might have liked to see lines two and three rhyme throughout.
Jan Ackerson
02/05/08
Very effective use of repitition with the "-ing me" throughout in the 4th lines. I liked this one a lot.
LauraLee Shaw
02/05/08
Wow, how creative is this!!! I was tapping my toes to this clever rhyming example of the topic. Well done.
Laury Hubrich 
02/05/08
Well written poem. I really liked this!
Laury
Celeste Ammirata
02/18/08
Very well written poem. I love this take on the prodigal son story. Very imaginative.