The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
06/22/06
A sweet story - that with a little editing could become a great story. Some "the's" left out, and a few minor infractions - but an interesting take on Life. Nice job.
06/24/06
What a creative story! I think it'd have even more impact if you started with the 3rd paragraph, and then expanded on Bill's story--maybe having the old man tell it in his words either to you or at church. Fascinating entry!
06/27/06
Good story. Dialogue makes the action come alive. Also, have someone proof you article before posting.