Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Write in the HUMOR genre (04/12/07)
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TITLE: "Honey, I Shrunk my Brain" | Previous Challenge Entry
By Michelle Burkhardt
04/18/07 -
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From the minute the two blue lines appear on the pregnancy test, and the last off-spring moves out of the home, a woman’s brain shrinks. No matter what her IQ was before having children, she now finds herself unable to remember or focus on the simplest task. Incidents occur that convince her she is losing her mind. Thank goodness there are researched articles attesting to the fact that a woman’s brain does shrink when she is pregnant. Even though specialists cannot link the shrinkage to memory loss and state that the phenomenon lasts for about six months after the child is born, any mother can attest that her brain does not return to normal functioning ability until her children are grown.
Speaking from personal experience, I can recall a time when my sister and I both had a malfunction of brain power. In 2002, we had the incredible privilege of being with child at the same time. Deneen was pregnant with her first and I was pregnant with my fourth.
We were driving in her car on the way to our grandmother’s funeral with mixed emotions because we were glad to see each other, yet we were grieving over our loss. I was given the job of reading the directions, while she navigated the car. After traveling for about a half hour on Interstate 93 in New England, she asked me to look at the directions to see which exit we needed to take off the highway. Looking down at the scribbled notes, I can only blame the pregnancy because I ridiculously responded, “I think we have a ways to go because it says to take 125E and I haven’t seen 125A, B, C, or D yet.” My sister started laughing so hard that I thought she was going to pee herself, and for all you pregnant women out there, you know that our bladders can not handle excessive laughter. Once I realized what had come out of my mouth, I began to laugh too. (In case a pregnant woman is reading this…125E stands for 125 east, it was not in alphabetical order.)
The Lord has a way of evening out the score because a few minutes later, after taking the exit, my sister stopped her car at a 4-way stop sign. I looked both ways and noticed that there were not any other cars coming. I patiently waited for my sister to proceed through the intersection; however, after a few moments the car showed no signs of moving forward. I innocently inquired, “What are you waiting for?” Deneen looked up at what must have been her imaginary traffic light and said she was waiting for the light to turn green. We were laughing so hard that we could hardly breathe. We had just recovered from my blunder, now her blunder sent us into a tailspin of hysterics. My stomach hurt so hard from laughing that I thought I was going to go into labor. We stayed at the stop sign for a few more minutes since it was raining tears inside the vehicle, and trying to drive with blurred vision would not have been safe.
Once we arrived at the funeral home, we had to take a few moments to compose ourselves. We didn’t think it would be appropriate to go into a mournful gathering while laughing our “stretchy-pants-off”.
I honestly believe that God shrinks our brains on purpose. The most obvious reason, in my opinion, is that most women forget what is involved during labor and delivery. After the birth, if we were to recall the process, in its entirety, we would never have any more than one child. By shrinking our cerebrums, God knows that we will only remember the glorious miracle with which He has blessed our lives. Thus, allowing women to continue to joyfully experience it again and again…and again…and again.
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The title of this grabbed me--very clever.
Also the observation near the end interested me. It's true that we seem to forget the pain of childbirth enough to be willing to repeat the process!