Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Prosperity (05/11/06)
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TITLE: Mary's Smile | Previous Challenge Entry
By Sara Snodgrass
05/11/06 -
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When I was eighteen my father died of a heart attack - he had been our breadwinner, but most importantly he had been a shoulder to lean into it. However, people didn’t see it that way, and I watched with tear filled eyes as my life began falling apart piece by piece, and ever so quickly saying goodbye was timed into a matter of minutes - it had to be, my mother and I was being forced into a new life unable to do anything as all our possessions and memories of my father were hauled off.
We had lost everything that we assumed was important to us, and eventually moved in with my grandmother. Finding a job was tough, and transpiring out of our average life style was even tougher, and me being the selfish girl I was, blamed God for it all and complained the whole way.
“Stop acting like a child, Sharon!” My mother screeched at me. “Life is hard, but we’ll get through some how. We need to allow God to provide for us.”
“God? God is the One who made this all happen!” I would cry back.
That conversation would come up day after day that it eventually became a routine for us. Every angry word embedded themselves deep into our hearts, every unsaid fear was just another excuse, and every lost memory was a horror stricken picture of what life had been. I was swimming in doubt, not realizing what I had.
It was around Christmas and they had decided to continue on with our traditions in hopes of keeping my father’s memory alive. Christmas had always been one of my favorite times, but that Christmas started like a disease filling my every whim until I was writhing with a long heartache. My father died, and acting differently wasn’t going to change it.
That’s exactly how my mind was set when I yelled at them for being inconsiderate, and also when I stormed out, and got into my car. I don’t remember how I came upon the manger scene. What I do remember was my blurred vision a mixture of enragement and hot sadness, and the constant play of the song “Merry Christmas” humming in the background of my car radio. And I also remember coming to a sudden halt on the side of the road and looking over to see a live manger scene.
To this day I still don’t know what provoked me to get out of my car with no coat, no gloves, no nothing but a pair of jeans and sweater, and make my way slowly in the piles of snow to stand in the back and watch. Several people were there, their children skipping around, laughing gleefully, and enjoying the animals sticking their cold noses out so they could touch them, and numerous others passing out hot chocolate.
But my eyes weren’t indulging themselves on any of these events, but to Mary and the tiny baby she had wrapped tightly in her arms. That’s when it hit me – I was prosperous. I may not have lived in a home, I may not have had the possessions I once did, or even the food we lavished in, but I was prosperous. Jesus had been born, lived, and then died for me. He had taken care of me then and He was still taking care of me, making sure I had food to eat, shelter from the cold, and always a loving ear to hear my sorrow.
Somehow, even in the midst of noise and movement, I caught Mary’s eye. I must have looked odd, a young girl standing out in the snow with no warmth, and tears staining her face, but she didn’t notice. Gently she raised the baby up, pressing the little head to her cheek, and closing her eyes she smiled. In months I hadn’t even grinned, but looking at her, and discovering life anew, a slow turned up curve showed on the corner of my lips and I smiled.
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I also agree about the beginning part needs more work/