The Official Writing Challenge
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02/21/06
Great story and well written; however, am I dense or just confused? Did Pastor Robert indeed go out the night before? Or did somebody take his place in counseling the couple's son? A great write and an intriguing read.
02/22/06
Very well-written; I wasn't expecting Robert to be a pastor. I think your point would be made more strongly if the couple that greeted Robert were able to tell him that he had made a difference in their son. But I liked that you made this pastor human, with real doubts and fears.
02/23/06
Great message, Shari. The battle is not strange to any of us; we just have to hold on. I think you may have had a POV shift from son to dad in the beginning. Seems your writing is improving each week though. Well done.
02/23/06
Aha! Great revelation at the end! There were a couple of tiny typos, but your writing itself was impeccable in this story. I loved it!
02/23/06
Nice job holding back who he was till the end! I appreciated the genuine wrestling with self-doubt he went through...don't we all do that? Also, the allusion to a couple of my favorite acting vegetables made me smile!!
02/25/06
The story was good but flow problems. Were they watching television or a movie? The one sentence said the tape had rewound. The end was surprising but it did make the reader wonder when the pastor made this visit. Keep writing.
02/25/06
Maybe I'M dense but I had no trouble fllowing this and I enjoyed the flow of his very human thoughts and doubts as a pastor. I'd say - Good job, well done and great message!
As a pastor's wife, I really appreciaate this candid and heartwarming story of a pastor. You told it in a way that we can all identify with. Great job!
02/27/06
Great writing, Shari. I could really identify with that poor exhausted pastor - you put us in his shoes so well - and that he is a pastor was a nice little twist at the end there.
Ah, so even pastors have doubts? LOL. This was an enjoyable read and I think you handled the ending extremely well. I had no trouble following this and assumed that he had visited the other family before coming home to his own. Well done.
(BTW, tried to read this before the challenge ended, but couldn't get onto FW - sorry!).
03/02/06
Nice job, Shari. I could relate well, also, as a pastor's wife - I think you described the doubts my husband is plagued with OFTEN! I liked the encouragement to "endure to the end".