The Official Writing Challenge
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I enjoyed your story, and I think your closing line was great! The only thing I would consider thinking about is how long it takes the reader to understand that the girl who is walking is pregnant. When she turned down all those opportunities to stop and get something to drink, and considered her expanding waistline, my first thought was that she walking to lose weight. Very nice!
This is a nice story. I enjoyed the walk with the main character as she sought out the neon signs. I love how the Holy Spirit propelled her forward. I think many people can relate to that unquenchable thirst you so aptly described.

One thing I might suggest would be to vary your sentence structures a bit. Especially in the beginning you have a lot that start with the word She. You could mix it up some with something like this: Considering going home to check on her FB family, she paused, and then shook her head. Today, something deeper propelled her forward.
It might not be an exact fit, but I hope it gives you an idea of what I mean and puts more of a picture in the reader's mind. Near, the end, I did notice you varied them more. Someone three years ago, gave me similar advice, telling me that almost every paragraph began with a name or a pronoun. I thought he was exaggerating, but when I went back and looked I saw that almost every sentence began that way! It made a huge difference in my writing, and you're already farther ahead with that than I was so I have no doubt that if you keep writing, instead of good stories, you'll have outstanding ones.

I liked how you described the cross as a T. I did stop for a second and tried to think of a chain that started with a T! I loved that because it is original and makes your piece really stand out. The Scripture is a great tie in to your message. No matter what, God does love us, and we all need to be reminded of that. I thought your ending was quite powerful, and the only thing that might make it even stronger would be to add the word but: She had heard it before, but she understood it now. One wouldn't think a tiny word could make a difference, but in my opinion I think it would bea bit stronger. The ending is often one of the hardest parts to perfect because we have such a limited word count, but you did a great job, and it touched my heart. I wanted to reach through the screen and hug the girl. There are many lost teens and young adults out there, and I truly believe God will use your story to touch those hearts. Nicely done.
07/26/13
Your entry is very creative and original. Thanks for sharing.
08/01/13
Congrats and God Bless~
Congratulations for ranking 5th in your level and 24 overall!! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)