The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a powerful story on a difficult topic. I could relate to the MC's pain.

I noticed a tiny error. Instead of a hyphen, you used an em dash. A hyphen is used to join two words together like Flat-lined while an em dash represents a sudden interruption.

Those are little things though and doesn't subtract from the powerful story. I think you used the topic in a clever and fresh way. The characters felt real and I could feel the pain pour off the page. There is so much wisdom in this piece. Though it is a difficult topic to think about it's a reality for far too many people. Getting stories out there will help people learn how to heal. Nicely done.
01/14/13
This is one of my favorite 'flat' entries. I loved the style. What is that? It's like a poem, but without poetic prose. You wrote deeply, but without explicit details. You said so much and yet said so little. You engaged me as a reader, inviting me to think and feel.

If only Hollywood producers could learn a lesson or two from you.
01/14/13
This sobering piece about a horrific subject was moving and well written. It was done in a tasteful way, and managed to bring home the feelings and internal dialogue of the MC with clarity...Excellent piece of writing.

God bless~