A mother’s heartache.
As a mother, I have been asked many questions by my three girls. I am sure we can all identify with the questions children tend to ask, from the death of a loved one or pet, to questions about the birds and the bees.
My own mother had a policy that she only answered on a need to know basis. I have tried to answer most of the questions truthfully, and have only answered what they have asked.
Young children are amazing, they tend to accept most of what you tell them, or often as my girls did they used to check my answers with my husband or their grandmothers. Some had totally different answers to mine, but for the majority asked, mine were the answers they accepted the most.
How then do you deal with your married daughter’s heart-breaking question?
“Mom why me? Why can’t I fall pregnant?” That is one very hard question.
From the time they were married Louise and Tony had set their hearts on having a family. They realized that they should wait for two years, to build a home and have some resources at their disposal for their family, so that is what they did.
Their home was built, they had some money in the bank and they were ready for the adventure of a lifetime. Being parents! Three years later, they are still childless. The heartache and pain she has experienced is awful. Initially we suspected she might have the same problems I had experienced, yet after every conceivable test, no problems were found. Tony had all his tests done, and one or two minor problems were encountered. After the necessary medication and treatment, he was fine. Yet still nothing happened.
I have held her as she has wept, we have prayed together to God believing He’ll come through, yet the silence is deafening!
The insensitivity of some people is quite unbelievable.
“Don’t you want children?”
“How much longer are you guys going to wait?”
“Time is passing by; you are getting older and still no children.”
I finally snapped one day when a friend passed some remark. I told her how badly they wanted a family, yet it still hadn’t happened.
“Have you prayed about it?” was the response.
Next came all the questions as to why they didn’t have the very expensive treatments available, or why didn’t they adopt?
As a mother, who has prayed and believed God for a miracle, I can no longer answer their questions. I tend to avoid the people who are insensitive and cruel. I do have awesome prayer partners, who have stormed heaven’s doors, yet He has remained silent.
Who knows what the answer is or will be?
Only He knows, and His ways are His ways and His thoughts are His thoughts. I can comfort her with the wonderful promise that “The plans He has for them are good plans and ones that will prosper them and give them hope for the future.” I trust that is the answer He has for me at this time.
Yet I still ponder why?
This is the one answer I do not have, and as a mother it breaks my heart seeing their pain
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