The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/04/12
Wow - this was powerful and held such an air of authenticity. So this may or may not be a true story, but either way...what a great message. You've managed to touch on the topic by showing, rather than telling. That little girl's eyes panning the MC's apartment said it all! That is not a small feat. Exccellent job! And, brilliant entry.

Thank you. God Bless~
This is an excellent message. I wasn't sure where you were going at first because your transition was a tad abrupt. The ending is a powerful message and one we all can need to be reminded of from time to time.
05/08/12
Expert descriptions! Reading it makes me feel the heat
in the apartment as well as all the frustration, plus the ultimate moment of conscience at the end.
What a powerful entry and right on target. This truly spoke to my heart. I loved how you showed the reader because it drove the point home. Thank you and God bless.
05/10/12
Congratulations and God Bless~