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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Telephone (07/17/08)
So many things happen from here to there.
Things tend to happen everywhere.
As I sit alone drinking my tea.
I can swear its looking back at me.
Ring why dont ya.
You know you feel the urge.
Lets see today what else occured.
Evertime you ring you bring the drama along.
You never call with a new song.
Sometimes I feel like just walking out the door.
I made the decision to not answer anymore.
So ring ring!
Just like you always do.
On the other end?I dont care who.
So I give up.
I know its not a serious matter.
Either drama or there lips they will flatter.
Im walking out the door.
You wont hear me I wont here you.
Never again or anymore.
Honestly Im through.
Instead of getting mad I'll take myself and leave.
And observe from afar while you ring.
Constantly.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Patty Wysong
07/27/08
I enjoyed they rhyme--reminded me a little of Dr. Suess. Careful proofreading (especially spelling) will help bring out the fun element more. Right on topic with this piece!
Debra Martinez
07/28/08
I loved what you were saying, but as the Apostrophe Police, it was very difficult to read! The jargon used makes me consider that you wrote it just as you wanted it, a freedom poetry totally allows. But consider that it should have a clear purpose if that is the case. Thanks!