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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)
The mirror whispered everything to her that she had hoped- her dress was perfect. Stacy twirled and watched in awe as the satin flowed around her. The white trim settled at her bare feet and she laughed the laugh of the joyful.

Today was the day. Today was her day.

She had worked with her mother and soon-to-be mother-in-law to make sure that everything was just the way that she had dreamed. The chapel was exquisitely adorned with white ribbons, yellow and pink flowers and a beautiful trellis that evoked images of fairy tales and wedding day brides. The tables were lost underneath the white cloth and lace beneath them. The invitations were just the way Stacy wanted them- formal and classy. The chapel was barely going to be big enough for all the people they invited. Even the Baldwin piano had recently been tuned. Everything was as ready as it could ever be.

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David Richards was trying to squash the butterflies in his stomach while he put the finishing touches on his tuxedo. His tuxedo was spotless and pressed, his bow tie gently tugged to create a dapper impression. He thought about the ceremony the wedding party had rehearsed and chuckled. Something was bound to go wrong- Don Ryan, the pastor might stumble over a word or two, the cameraman might forget to press "Record" or the unity candle might snuff out. He didn't expect perfection. He just hoped for it.

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Susan Rumple, Stacy's mother, was by the back door of the chapel, waiting, along with the bride and bridesmaids. All hearts were joined in eager anticipation for the joy they felt creeping over them, the joy that was so near, they could almost taste it.

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David Richards stood on the small wooden stage waiting...waiting...waiting. He could not wait to marry Stacy. But he had to.

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Stacy Rumple, in her wedding dress of dreams, trembling (and giggling), tried to quietly a straight line walk down the aisle. A drunk might have had a better time with it.

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David watched Stacy step, step, step onto the chapel stage and he felt her presence to his right as Don Ryan began the art of two becoming one.

And then the unthinkable happened.

A girl rose up from the pews, stepped over a few people and walked up next to Stacy and quietly took her hand.

---------------------------------------

All eyes were on this unknown girl, including and especially Stacy. She glared at the girl as she whispered, "What are you doing?!"

The girl looked at her and said, "David knows, I think."

As all eyes turned to David, another girl stood up. She walked forward as two more stood up and took their place next to Stacy as she tried to figure why they were ruining her wedding. Stacy quickly turned to David, hoping he didn't know what she was talking about.

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David was visibly sweating, and saw Stacy begin turn to him, desperately hoping that she somehow wouldn't ask about what was so blatantly out of place.

"David, who are these girls?"

David lost all hope at that moment in the fabrice of time.

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Stacy looked expectantly at David, and desperately prayed he had a good answer for this. He ran his hand through his hair as he said, "Well...these were girls I used to date. Girls I used to think I was going to marry."

Stacy's heart shuddered.

-----------------------------------

David dreaded every word of what he was about to say.

"I gave them my heart back then...but they don't mean anything now."

He watched Stacy's composure crumble, as she whimpered, "I thought you gave your heart to me."

He looked into her eyes.

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David looked into her own eyes and said, "I've given you everything I have left."

Stacy began to cry, to sob, to wail. And she fled the chapel, horrified by what she had not been told.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Allison Egley 
07/22/06
Very interesting twist at the end. I thought they were little girls (flower girl age) until the very end, and was trying to figure out why little girls walking with the bride would ruin a wedding. But then I read the twist. You mention the mom once. I think you could improve on the story a bit if you brought the mom back into it and told what she was thinking when the girls got up and walked down the aisle with her daughter. I like the message this sends. Seems like it could be a good illustration for a youth group, or even premarital counseling.
Marilee Alvey
07/23/06
I liked the refreshing, innovative style of this, learning how everyone was feeling. However, I was troubled by the girls coming up like that. Many people think they have found "the one," only to find she/he wasn't. He was noble not to marry each one and take them for a test drive! Too many people take marriage too lightly. This man didn't jump into it, for which she should be glad. She should look at them and say, "Your hearts weren't the match made in heaven for this man. Mine was." End of story!
Jan Ackerson
07/25/06
I liked this a lot...would really be a great discussion starter for teens. One spelling I noted: fabic, not fabrice. I found this powerful and thought-provoking.
Millicent Pat-Nwaoyo
07/25/06
I enjoyed the story. I agree with Marilee. The man was honourable enough not to marry any of the girls.The bride should count herself lucky to be the chosen one.It was still her day after all.
Sandra Petersen
07/27/06
I thought this could almost apply to the Bride of Christ. We have so many other loves. Each demand a tiny bit of us until the Lord gets the leftovers. I enjoyed this story very much.

One thing that somewhat detracted was the paragraph dividers. If you could find a way with your words to flow from one section to another, it might be better.

I could see this article as a discussion starter for a group studying chastity or purity. Or maybe for an adult group studying their individual relationship to the Lord. Great job! Loved the description of the bride's joy in your opening.