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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)
Of ways we have been lonely,
I cannot recall.
But in this way only,
Death has robbed us all.
Of bright blue eyes,
and a ring of white hair.
His wide, toothless grin
he was always so willing
to share.
I ask Jesus to tell him how
we all feel.
Jesus has sent his reply,
I know it was real.
“ Don’t be like that,
can’t you all see?
Though I miss ya’ll
dearly, this is where I
want to be.
I am with my mom and
daddy, they welcomed me
at the gate. I’m eating cakes
and pies with nuts, all my stomach
can take.
Now girls, quit cryin’
you must open your eyes
and see. Your babies are wanting
you to come back, and with
them to be. For it won’t be
long until this is over, together
we will stand. Hand in hand with
Jesus, in our promised
Land.”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Andrea Cooper
07/21/06
Very wonderful poem. I've never had a hand at poems...they just never seem to flow quite the way I want them to. But this flows nicely with its message. Very well done.
-Andrea:)
Marilee Alvey
07/22/06
I enjoyed reading this poem, but i was a little confused about who the "girls" are. Are they his daughters? I so love to read about images of heaven, so eating nut pies at the gates enthralled me. That's a new one! Can't wait! A fun read!
Helen Paynter
07/25/06
You've got a good ear for a rhyme and a light touch. Try working a little more on meter which I think let you down a bit. But this is very enjoyable, and I especially enjoyed the beginning.