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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: STORM (10/05/17)
My grandmother’s wing back chair hugs me, as I curl into it, in the dark. I focus through the steam of the coffee I have clutched in my hands, and struggle to see the shapes of trees outside my window. The sun should be rising, yet there is no sign of pale pink hope on the horizon. The wind begins to blow and only then can I distinguish the large oak tree from charcoal sky. I pull an old afghan around my shoulders like a shield as if the storm brewing outside could reach in and drown me with it’s tears. Eyes closed, I listen for the rain. I can hear it, off in the field, inching closer to the house. The rain drops begin to patter on the window pane and I pull my cup closer and savor the warmth of a first sip. The thoughts that rage inside my mind, the ones that wake me from my sleep in the wee hours of morning, they are like thunder, scary and spreading fear across my heart. So desperate to silence them, I call out to Him. Please, I pray, I need peace.



My grandmother’s wing back chair hugs me as I curl into it. Her old afghan lays across my lap. I open my eyes and look out across our land. The proud oak tree is glistening majestically in the morning light. A pink hue has spread across the sky, creating puffs of purple clouds scurrying off into the distance. I have been lifted up out of a storm of my own creation.















*work of fiction
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This article has been read 383 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jenny Fulton 
10/12/17
Great job with the imagery. I felt like i wanted to know more about the mc and what she was struggling with.
Loni Bowden-Horn 
10/13/17
I liked the images that you had in your piece.

I really liked the ending of your story.

It sounded as if the chair was hugging the MC instead of the chair. I understood your sentence but if you rewrote it would add impact to your piece.
Larry Whittington
10/13/17
I liked the word pictures you painted in our minds. They will stay for some times since your emotion and fears were all so real.

This wasn't just a story of an early morning cut of coffee but an expression of times gone by while looking forward to a better day.

Keep developing your talent.
Noel Mitaxa 
10/14/17
You've used some graphic word pictures here, which would have even greater impact with more para breaks to let each one (or each small cluster) to wrap themselves around our minds.
Phillip Cimei
10/15/17
Wonderful! Wonderful piece of writing. You did a fantastic job of painting pictures in my mind. That is writing at its best.

I have only one complaint. I want more. I wanted more of those feeling to squeeze my heart. I wanted to know more about that rocking chair and the influence Grandma had on you.

Super story. God bless.
A Mattingly
10/16/17
Loved it!
I so understand about those thunderstorms of our mind in the darkness! I find that if the sunrise doesn't chase them off it at least weakens them. I agree that I would love to read more!
Dave Walker 
10/19/17
Very creative, descriptive writing. I would like to have seen it expanded on -- maybe the similes incorporated into the descriptions: The pitter-patter of the first raindrops, like the quickening of my pulse; the brooding clouds like my sense of impending doom.
Bonnie Bowden 
10/19/17
Congratulations on your 2nd place win in the Beginners category, Lisa.
Salome Njunge
10/20/17
Good work.