The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/29/16
Wonderful!

Blessings~
You make some excellent points in this essay. You definitely show the importance of trust and how easy it can be to lose trust. It is such a valuable commodity.

I noticed you had some inconsistencies in your voice. You sometimes used the first person, then others the second. Take these lines: Until you see this simple set of verses in Psalm. Where Christ states that our trust in man will perish, but your trust in God will remain steadfast.
You switch from our (1st person) to you (second person). Also neither line is a complete sentence. Having someone proofread for you can help prevent these tiny errors. (You aren't alone by a long shot.)

Personally, my favorite part was when you shared about your marriage. I could relate to it, and I think it takes a lot of courage to share something like that, but you did so to help others. I can feel the Holy Spirit in your words. You did a great job, covered the topic, and delivered a fine message. Keep writing!
You have a sentence I believe to be true. "Trust is something that comes naturally in any type of relationship." The problem with this sentence is the other person may have traits that are not of Christ like characteristics. When we trust in them, we usual end up on the short end of the stick. We have to be careful in who we trust.

I liked what you said about working things out in a marriage relationship. In God, we can trust.

If you have opportunity to write more of the details it took to work out your marriage situation, it would be a blessing to the many who now stand at the crossroads. Many may want to work things out but just don't have an example of how to do it or even how to start doing it.

Successful examples are not always talked about because of the "pain" involved in the nighttime but joy comes in the morning.

Keep writing.
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