The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/10/15
This was so natural...it was an easy and pleasurable read. I like it, a lot said in a subtle way. Well done.

God bless~
You did a nice job of bringing your characters to life. I could easily picture the little MC taunting his sister.

Make sure you start a new paragraph each time someone new speaks or acts. I'm not entirely sure that you nailed the topic. You brought it in at the very end, but until then it wasn't about a road trip, but more why the Father went on it.

With that said, you definitely thought outside of the box, which I give you credit for. I love a good ending and yours was really good. It drove your message home and brought a smile to my face. Keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.