Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write for the HUMOR Genre (10/09/14)
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TITLE: My Second Language Is Darling | Previous Challenge Entry
By Cindy Maness
10/16/14 -
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I know that some people speak Spanish, some Japanese and some speak in The Tongues of Angels, but I'm talking about Darling. Darling is the language of hybrids. If an angel and a munchkin decided to get married and have a child, said child would speak Darling. To clarify, mostly toddlers speak it. I have 8 children and 9 grandchildren and everyone of them spoke it when they were small. I presently have 3 grandkids that speak it fluently. Alayna is 3, Sylas is 2 and Selah is 3 and one half.
Now in order to speak Darling you must be very animated when talking. Passion is the wind behind every package of words presented. It doesn't matter what color your eyes are but you have to be able to make your eyebrows dance, and your eyes must make merry when the mood is high. It is also common speech among fairies and wood nymphs, this of course is common knowledge among all little people. It is melodious in nature and there is also a sense of wonder injected into it not unlike an electrical current. It is also preferable to speak it while in continual motion and oftentimes with urgency. Some classic Darling phrases might be; The Sun waked up!" Translation: The sun rose and I can get up now. Or "Wen I get biga I am gona maywee daddeee. Translation: "When I grow up I am going to marry Daddy." Or one of my favorites; "I gutta pee I gutta pee I gutta pee", translates into "For the love of Pete get me to the bathroom now." Frequent giggles often infix themselves into any conversation and can erupt unexpectedly. Darling is also tweaked uniquely by it's individual interpretations such as, the word "poop" is often used as a period to every sentence in Sylas' case, followed by bursts of gleeful chortles which are extremely contagious. We have not yet discovered the medical certainty of this phenomenon as of the date of this writing, however it appears to be foolproof. For instance he might say "Em pwayeein mie twuk poop." (I am playing with my truck poop.) The period seems to consistently activate full bellied laughter regardless of the content of the statement itself. So a string of sentences spoken by him might be as follows; "ime yors you mine poop." (Giggles and jumping.) "i gut skoobee doo unnerware poop." (Giggles and skipping.) "I wuv Minnie poop." (Hysterical giggling while squeezing the juice out of the family cat.) Interpretation: "I am yours, you are mine. I love you with all of my heart." "I have my Scooby Doo underwear on, which thrills me to no end and I love my Minnie, our cat. In fact I love her so much I just want to love her to bits because I just can't contain all this love." I have also heard him say "yoon bwoke mine heart." which means "you broke my heart and you hurt me."
The language itself is founded on its nonconformist traditions which are quite liberating until a phrase such as "Dat wady has a fat tummee wike santa", translated: "That lady needs to stop eating so many marshmallows or people might think she's Santa's replacement." Phrases like these can create approximately the same effect as a gunfire going off in a library. Other than a few of these misplaced exceptions it is a happy verbosity, and typically charming in it's intense veracity. Common misconceptions about Darling are that it is strictly declarative, and it can be but is certainly not restricted to that alone, rather it is much more inquisitive leaning. Darling is also known for its repetitiveness and is pregnant with curiosity and fascination, always.
Customarily as small children grow into Kindergarten they slowly "grow out of" speaking the ancient dialect. They gradually modify their chosen language until there are all but remote traces left of this enchanting tongue. My confession is that I secretly still speak it fluently when I am in the presence of my grandchildren. With any language in order to retain it, you must exercise your ability regularly. In my reflections I have surmised that Darling is magical. It is also persuasive in its robust giddiness and I have decided, it is one of the most potent and promising of youth potions.
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More paras would give us more time to enjoy each helping of this multi-course banquet of childhood memories, but I enjoyed it anyway.
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KJV 1 Timothy 3:16
"And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory."