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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Day and Night (07/10/14)
Darkness was not the absence of light. Darkness was the day with no hope, no way to escape and get away from the terror of his own soul. Day should not come with sunrise. He was a prisoner in the night of his own heart.
The sun came and the day gave light to his face, he saw himself in the mirror, and contemplated his image with disgust. Night inside and day up, he was down and light out.
“If only the day could come to my life”.
Vicious desire near was. A bottle was ready.
He would have it, yes!
Then through the window the sunlight came and sunrise from the mirror touched his face, entering his eyes. He turned to that place behind, and was not looking to the mirror now. Day plain. Light…
He remembered the story of The Light. Light that shines in darkness, carrying eternal relief. That same Old Story, simple and full of wonder.
And he understood. It was day now. Day had wined over night to reach him, to touch him. And he turned his heart to that fact, he stepped out from his own darkness, knowing that the merit was not his, going up as he came down to his knees, gaining life and he gave himself.
And then suddenly he knew after giving his heart to The Light: from now on he would be a son of the day even if the night come.
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This article has been read 374 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jody Day 
07/17/14
Compelling sentiments expressed here. Try to leave a space between paragraphs for easier reading. Good job:)
Joyce Krznaric
07/18/14
I can feel the soul's anguish and then the release. Nice depiction. However, I was a little confused by some of the grammar.
Larry Whittington
07/18/14
This is a different style of writing but I could follow the thoughts and ideas.

You used picture words rather than "just saying it".

The Holy spirit does teach us about what is sin and what is right in God's eyes and he wants to lead us in God's way. It is up to us to follow the Spirit's leading.

Nice work.
C D Swanson 
07/21/14
Good and loving message. I look at the "message" in each entry and this one had an important one. The light of the Lord, Jesus...there isn't anything more important than that.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/23/14
Your notion of day on the inside and night on the out is quite powerful indeed. You were able to showcase what it can feel like when one retreats deep inside. This piece really made me think.

You have a great start, and with more practice, you will be a master wordsmith. I'd encourage you to expand a bit more so the reader experiences each word. For example, take your beginning and tweak it with something like this:

His heart ached;something had happened to make him feel the darkness--not the absence of light, though, but an intense sense of blackness. For him, darkness was the day with no hope, no way to escape the terror of his own soul. Day did not come at sunrise because he was a prisoner in the night of his own heart.
I really didn't change much, but I hope you can see the subtle difference.

I can totally relate to your meaning and it gives me goosebumps. You've expressed something that is difficult to understand, yet I believe more people experience it than we expect. Keep writing, you're touching hearts with your words.