The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
You have some wonderful descriptives, but I had trouble following your story. It seemed disjointed. Try to weave together one or two threads of thought as you develop the flow of your story line.
03/05/10
My hands were shaking (nervous) when I pressed "submit". Before that, I accidentally deleted a whole paragraph in the middle while proof-reading this 8th draft. It still turned out a disappointment to myself. Never mind, I move on. Thank you for my one commenter. You've been very patient and kind in pointing it out to me.

Cheers and Blessings to fellow writers!
Maryknoll