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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Tie (02/28/13)
I couldn't think about what transpired previously, nor did it seem to matter. The room was large and round. The polished brass ceiling stood about fifteen feet high. The walls and floor were made of similar material. There were no furnishings, nor any other features in the room. Except for the ropes and the people. There must have been hundreds of ropes hanging from holes in the ceiling arranged in no apparent pattern.

The people in the room were walking from rope to rope. However, they were not as concerned with the ropes as much as they were with the tag that was attached to the end of each rope.

One lady stopped at one particular rope, captivated by the words on the tag. Without warning, the end of the rope began to move by itself. It wrapped itself around her waist and fastened a knot that held her secure. She did not seem to mind and appeared to enjoy the sensation.

I turned my gaze to the others in the room and realized they were experiencing similar occurrences. One after another, they became attached to their particular rope. One individual could not decide between three different ropes and somehow managed to get tied by all three since they were in close proximity.

One rope was near the middle of the room, but not in the center. The others seemed to pay no attention to it. I began making my way over to this "different" rope. On my way, I saw some of the tags hanging from the other ropes. One tag read, "pleasure", another "wealth", and another read "power." Each time I read a tag the end of the rope began to lean in my direction attempting to tie me up. I quickly made my way to the lone rope.

This rope was unlike the others. It was far enough away from all the other ropes that it couldn't be linked to any of them. This deterred those who wanted to be attached to more than one rope.

This rope had a tag which read "hope, love, peace." When I read it, this rope made no effort to attach itself to me. It was then that the color of the rope struck me. While all the other ropes seemed to consist of a plain brown color, this rope was a bright, glistening, crimson red. And then I saw it drip. I followed the drip with my eyes down to the floor where it converged with a puddle that was the same red. The rope was not a colored rope, but a saturated rope....in blood.

This blood-covered rope was very offensive to many, so they quickly moved away because of its offensiveness.

Without warning a loud siren began to wail, startling everyone in the room. Suddenly the walls fell away to reveal a great expanse, greater than I had ever seen before. The floor began to fall apart starting at the edges and moving toward the center. I grabbed the blood covered rope in my hands, wrapped it around my waist and tied the best knot I knew. Others rushed to nearby ropes and allowed the ropes to attach to them.

Then the ceiling began to fall apart. As the disintegration moved from the edges toward the center, the ropes revealed what was attached on the other side of the ceiling. Each rope was connected to one of many hideous beasts who were laughing and growling all in the same sound. One by one the beasts began to fall into the great expanse taking the person attached with it.

The ceiling was about to crumble above me when I felt something I had never experienced before. A peace came over me. A love saturated me and I realized that this was not the end for me and I still had a future and a hope. I knew that I had chosen the correct rope.

I looked up at my rope. The ceiling was completely gone and my rope was the only one that remained. It continued high up into the heavens beyond my field of vision. I felt a tug. At first it was difficult to determine if I was moving or not because there was nothing else around me to give me any perception of movement. However, as time passed I was convinced that I was being pulled up higher and higher. The higher I rose, the more hope, love and peace filled my soul.
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This article has been read 673 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Cheryl Harrison
03/09/13
This is awesome. I enjoyed it. Unique take on the topic. Good job!
Bonnie Bowden 
03/09/13
Riveting piece of writing. It was very different than what I had imagined from the title. Should be a winner.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/10/13
I think this is a brilliant story. You did a fantastic job of introducing the conflict and keeping the reader interested. You have a gift for suspenseful storytelling.

The only comments I could offer would be brush up on some of the punctuation rules. One example is in the fifth paragraph, you need a comma after the words I read the tag.

You definitely nailed the topic in a different, fresh, and exciting way. Your message was clear and succinct without being preachy or sanctimonious. That's not an easy line to balance but you did it with great skill. I enjoyed this piece from beginning to end.

If you would like more feedback, throw a brick on the message board. Here's a link for you to copy and paste to take you there: http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=36659
Virgil Youngblood 
03/14/13
Excellent story line and captivating writing, with a powerful thought provoking conclusion. Well done.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/17/13
Congratulations on ranking 6th in level one and 40 overall! (You can find the top 15 in your level and the top 40 overall on the message boards)