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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Accent (02/21/13)
Well driving up into a crowed drive thru at Mc Donald’s undecided, should I wait and go through the drive thru or “should I just get off? I'm only going to order a cheese burger Happy Meal and a large order of fries.

Little Jason buckled up in the back seat said, I’m hungry Granma; I'm never going to eat, not today anyway. If you wait in this long line, as Jason peeks his head up he says, There’s not too many people inside gram, let’s get off.

“I want to eat now”, Jason whispers as he jumps off the car, closing the door shut.

Hello, the cashier said, “Can I take your order?

Yes, give me a cheese burger Happy Meal, and a large order of fries.

“what kind of drink mam?

Make it a Dr. Pepper, easy ice please. “That’s it."

That will be $5.36 said the cashier, would you like some ketchup with your fries, yes please, I replied.

The cahier kindly said your order will be up in a few minutes, if you can please step to the side so I can take the next customer. Thank you, she said, with a smile.

Meanwhile, Jason swinging my hand back and forth hungry, and full of joy waiting patiently for his “Happy Meal” and my large order of fries, we watch the crowd rush Mc Donald's for morning, noon rush hour.

I said to myself, “wow...” what time is it? “Great! 12:00 (noon) “Oh my gosh", within seconds Mc Donald's was crawling with people.

Ten minutes into the wait I was distracted by two gentlemen who came in… “Ay what’s up, dog? With a handshake they were quickly into a very loud conversation, laughing, giggling as they went on, and on with their conversation.

My grandson, Jason was watching in total amazement, trying to understand what was going on.

As the two continued talking all you could hear was, “is that right, dog?” and “check this out, dog?” and “what’s up with that foo, dog?” every word that was spoken was with foo or ended with dog? (PROVERBS 8:13) NIV To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.

My grandson tugged on my shirt, “grandma…?

“CHEESE BURGER HAPPY MEAL & LARGE FRIES!” the worker nodded her head at me. Thank you and have a good day.

As I headed towards the exit, I hear a worker trying to calm down an angry customer.

“I want to speak to the manager!” yells the angry customer.

An employee signaling another employer, we got a spill over by the soda machine, “quick! Grab two cautions signs a mop & bucket. “Get this cleaned up, shouted the manage.

Employees everywhere running around rapidly, trying to get things in order, it was morning madness.

Finally I was out the door and away from all the kayos.

Suddenly I hear “Grandma, why were those two boy’s calling each other dog?

Son, it’s a form of communication to some folks, kind of like a symbol of love and respect sweetie. It’s a little hard to explain and understand.

“I understand gram?

Kind of like my grandpa's friend Houston, the one with no teeth who’s always calling me sunny.

Yes, I answered giggling, a little something like that son.

Every time he sees me grandma, he says, “well howdy there partner”.
He’s always chewing on a straw and yelling “hee-haw!"

He’s funny grandma.

Jason quietly eating his cheese burger deep in thought, I watched him through the review mirror put a French frie in his mouth and say;

“Well looky here sunny” Why it’s me “Big Hauz”.

Jason, five years old gets a kick out of grandpa’s buddy, Houston and his Texas accent. From that moment further he manages to runs around the house with a straw in his mouth,both his hands on his belt buckle, swerving from side to side, talking about “Hi… I’m the new sheriff in town, you can call me “Big Hauz”.

Looking at my grandson I couldn’t help but feel the joy that he was feeling at that very moment in time. (PSALM 32:11) Rejoice in the lord and be glad, you righteous; sing all you who are upright in heart!
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This article has been read 562 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/02/13
This is a sweet story. I really enjoyed the interaction between the boy and his grandfather.

I did notice quite a few typos, you spelled chaos Wrong, and forgot quotation marks at time. Also remember the punctuation goes inside the quote marks. A good proofreader would help you

I think you did a nice job of developing the characters and the story was certainly on topic. You did a nice job.
Vince Martella
03/03/13
Nice story, very creative. Nice use of picking up everyday dialogue - easy to relate to. Be careful of tense - you cross from present to past frequently. Good job, keep it up.
Virgil Youngblood 
03/05/13
I like the title and the story idea. And you're off to a good start -- you submitted a story. As you keep polishing your writing skills, you will overcome the technical problems mentioned above. Well done.
C D Swanson 
03/05/13
I think this was a touching, and moving tale. It held my attention throughout, and made me smile. Good job with keeping my interest. I loved it.

God bless~
Judith Gayle Smith-Owens Vitouswykegardinerclark
03/05/13
Adventurous and fun!

Loving you in through and because of Jesus, the Christ . . .

Have you "thrown a brick"?
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