The day is a vivid memory to me. The day that I prayed 'that' prayer, is one that comes back to me regularly. A gray morning in early spring, it would remain a warm yet overcast day. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I speak to God... plead with God, the car seemingly driving itself along the right lane of the highway. Other commuters are racing by. I wonder if they notice my handkerchief wiping my now red swollen eyes.
With a heart full of love for the Lord, I proceeded to thank Him for my faith and for His faithfulness. God’s blessing had been upon us. Recently though, a restlessness had broken into my spirit. With it bringing the piercing realization that my husband is engaged in an intense spiritual battle. A battle that I am confident the Lord will help him win. With a tremendous sense of urgency, I begin to pray for my husband's soul. The blinders, the bondage, the sense of despair – all Satan's weapons in his effort to rob us of the life we share.
Jadon's faith is immature – his spiritual training nearly non-existent. By his own admission, the Bible did in fact ‘interest' him – although not enough to invest any of his own time into reading it. Believing his prayer of salvation to be genuine, I am confident that Jadon is just another one of God's many wandering children. He is a believer – without question.
My faith assures me that God is simply waiting to welcome him back.
Acts 16:31 (NLT) They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.”
It became clear to me, since God had so strengthened my own faith, that in this battle, it must be me on the front line. The desperate need for intercession was evident. The only weapon on hand to wage this war was prayer. Tobacco and alcohol – the chains holding him down. Deception – Satan's tool to keep the man I love vulnerable. Freedom from chains is necessary to be able to hear truth. We cannot let the Truth set us free, if we are unable to hear it?
Defiantly, I call upon the name of Jesus to crush Satan. In faith, knowing God wants to rescue my husband... knowing Satan will not give up without a brutal fight... knowing that, (though ultimately powerless against the name of Jesus), Satan will still wreak havoc in the midst of the battle. Not sure of what it will entail or how long the wait may be, I verbalize my prayer.
“I don't know what it will take Lord, but you do. I trust You with our lives and our futures. Please provide me the strength to bear it... and may Your Holy Name be glorified in the outcome.” Being completely aware of the implications of the prayer I had just prayed, sobs of anguish and, admittedly, a bit of trepidation, well up within me... “What did I just do?”
...then comes the peace. Immediately I know the Lord will answer... in His way and in His time. I need not know how and I need not know when. I just know it will be.
The questions arise. “How could you? Why WOULD you, pray such a prayer?”, and perhaps the most significant, “Would you pray ‘that’ prayer again?”
The answer is a complex one. Would I sign up again knowing, ahead of time, that it is going to include bullets, tear gas, a comatose hospital stay, and a prison sentence? That is hard to determine. Shouldn't we do all that is necessary to make sure that someone I love knows Jesus?... Absolutely.
The turmoil, though still present, is suppressed by the joy of knowing that my husband is free from his bondage and that his faith is growing. Though so very painful now, I am confident that God is using it for His glory.
Would I do it again, knowing the treacherous road it would lead us down?
A better question is, “Would I want Jesus to repeat what He did for me?”. Jesus willingly went to the cross for us – knowing we, as sinners, would repeatedly sin against Him. How blessed we are that He desires that we be saved.
2 Peter 3:15 (CEV) Don’t forget that the Lord is patient because he wants people to be saved.
As Christians, we should also. Yes, I would pray that prayer again.
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