The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/07/12
Great job. I enjoyed this entire piece. The story clearly outlined the topic in a clever and unusual way. I loved the ending.

Thanks. God Bless~
This is a nice essay on Current Affairs. You did a nice job of telling the definition and crediting the right Bible verses. I enjoyed this as an answer to an assignment or as an essay one might find in a journal. But I think you can do that and even go a step farther to relate it to more people.

I'd encourage you to take a step out of your comfort zone and show us what you mean. Just reading a definition or quoting the Bible may not be enough to reach some people. You need to show the reader what your story is about and pull them into it

Instead of just quoting the verse show the reader how you apply it in your daily life. Something like God commands us to go into the world and preach to every creature. I might find myself feeling silly if I were to plop down next to a dog and tell him that Jesus loves man so much he died for us. Hey Patches, you look like a smart little fellow, do you think there is any way you can help me on this one? The next morning I heard a yelping out on the street. I looked out the window and my jaw dropped to see Patches pulling his reticent owner into the Pastor's office!
Now I know that's an extreme and you probably want to take a more scholarly approach to the subject but when I read about preaching to every creature, I realized what a huge step of faith that would be. While some may giggle over that description or roll their eyes, it would be a great way to help them remember the verse and knowing that someone is talking to a dog it may help a reader step outside of her comfort box.

I have no doubt that the passion in your words will touch many people. I think you did a spectacular job of approaching the topic in a fresh way. Many might take this direction but show Christians being persecuted or not allowing the church and government mix. But you came up with such a unique POV that I'm really impressed. I just want to encourage you to go even a step farther. There is no doubt that you want the word of God to filter into every household. You also know your Bible well and would be able to answer some questions that unbelievers would have. You have a natural talent and you just need to spread your wings and take flight with that talent. Secure in the knowledge that Jesus is right with you and will catch you if you fall.