Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Editor (05/27/10)
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TITLE: Comma Happy | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ruth Neilson
06/03/10 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
RUN ON SENTENCE. SUBJECT-VERB AGREEMENT.
The blood flow began and Muse closed her eyes and wept. She could hear the sound of the scarlet letters being engraved upon her precious child—but was helpless to stop it. This would only strengthen it, she told herself.
THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. CLEAR UP THIS PARAGRAPH. TENSE SHIFT!
The Editor looked over and smirked at Muse as she stammered, "B-but...it makes perfect sense. See, I'm setting up the romance for later."
The Editor just shook his head and set back to work, chuckling manically as he continued to read. But his pen was silent. Muse held her breath as he put down the red tipped weapon and picked up a softer pen, a blue one and carefully began to write at the bottom of the last page.
It has potential, clean it up and bring it to me again. I can't wait to see the finished product. Be careful of the clichés that you used.
~ Your Brother, the Editor.
PS- Going a bit comma happy again, are we?
Without a word, Editor stood, closed the manuscript, and gently handed it back to his sister the Muse.
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