Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Huh? (01/21/10)
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TITLE: Madley1 | Previous Challenge Entry
By Patricia Blomeley-Maddigan
01/28/10 -
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Did anyone actually see their dreams realized?
Alicia began to talk to God speaking aloud.
Alicia had it all planned as far back as she could remember,
so she spoke clearly and loudly to God.
As Alicia paused - ever so slightly -
to allow God to agree with her plan and get on with it, she heard a sound.
"Lady", said the voice, "who are you talking to?
"Huh?", she said, "What was that?".
Alicia felt a tug on her sleeve, "Hey, Lady - why did you stop talking?".
"Huh?” Alicia frowned, " I didn't stop talking, you started talking at the same time as me.
What do you want? Who are you?”
The tug on Alicia's sleeve was tight.
Alicia spoke aloud again: "Child, what do you want? I am very busy".
"Lady, how can you be busy talking to the sky?
Do you have a friend up there? Huh?!! Do you?"
Looking at the child, Alicia thought, did this child not know God?
That it was God hearing Alicia's plans?
And come to think of it, why had God not answered her yet?
“Lady - will you help me plant this tree? It’s for my Mom to have a tree to sit under."
Alicia started looking for a chance to get away,
a chance to leave this odd little child,
a chance to get back to explaining to God how the big plan was going to work.
Alicia saw a flash out of the corner of her eye,
heard the squeal of tires, the blast of a car horn.
Where was that kid now? Was she gone??
"Madam? Did you hear me? Is that your child?"
The police officer was pointing to the centre of the right turn lane,
where a small hub of people were shielding that funny little child.
"Huh?" Alicia looked up into the officer's face: "I mean, pardon Officer?
The officer repeated: "Is that your child?"
Alicia felt her knees start to give way. "No", she said, “she is not my child.".
Just then, the kid was back, all in one piece, and pulling on Alicia's sleeve again.
"Did you see me, Lady? Did you see me try to give this little tree to my Mom?
Huh, huh?? Did you see?!!"
Alicia frowned, and wondered what had brought her to this corner in the first place.
She thought she had been making some sort of decision, but the details now escaped her.
The small hand tugging at Alicia's sleeve became more insistent.
"No, I did not see you try to give this little tree to your Mom. Where is she?"
"My Mom is up in the sky with her friend, Jesus.
When I saw you talking and looking up to the sky,
I thought maybe Jesus was your friend, too, and you were talking to Him. Were you? Huh?”
“Grandma told me that Mom was talking to Jesus as she crossed this street,
and she did not hear the car coming. She died, right there."
The child was pointing to a spot on the road.
The child asked again: "Was you talking to, Jesus? Huh, Lady?
I knew you didn't see me, that is why I grabbed your arm.
I tried to grab my Mom's arm that other day,
but she was too busy talking to Jesus, to notice me. She was kind of angry like."
Alicia stood, motionless, looking at this child who had stepped into her path that day.
After a moment, Alicia realized her life had taken a turn.
All that time she had spent telling God her plan,
trying to convince Him that she knew best,
He had gently swept down and placed His hand over them both - the woman, and the small child.
Before answering the child, Alicia looked upwards, and gently said,
"Thank You, Lord, it was your plan all along, wasn't it? Huh, huh? Wasn't it?"
And immediately, in the quiet of her heart came the Lord's gentle, "Yes".
Alicia reached down, took hold of the little hand, smiled at the child,
and asked: "What's your favourite ice cream?”.
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Anyway, let's try this again. You are so right about walking in faith. It can be so very challenging for all of us when we begin to add "our" reasoning to His leading. You expressed what I believe, we all encounter at one time or another.
Remember to double space your paragraphs, as it makes it alot easier to read. :)
Parts of your story left me saying 'huh?', though. Where were they, that she, a stranger, could take an unattended child for ice cream? Those sorts of details perplexed me. And I'm not sure that I understand your title.
Your story is strongly on topic and well-paced. You have tremendous potential.