The Official Writing Challenge
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08/21/09
So sad, and yet such a beautiful ending. This one tore at my heart strings.
08/24/09
Very lyrical, lovely prose.

I think your title gives away the ending...if you take this piece further, consider a different title.

Even though this piece felt very complete, I'd also be quite interested in "the rest of the story". I wanted to know these people! Well done!
Sad and somehow sweet at the same time. A couple of minor things:
as this young—too young—mom bid farewell.

Bid should be bids. Also the 'too young' thing confused me at first. Any age is too young to bury a child. Is it a teen?

I would live to see where this story goes and find out what happed to get them there.
08/24/09
I know how sad it was to bury
my teenage brother on a winter's day. You captured that sadness well. These memories are sad but precious. Colin
08/24/09
Your writing set the somber tone to this solemn piece. Not a place any would choose to go, but one we sometimes must be in.

Poignant story. Thanks for making it come out all right!
Your story is sad but beautiful, constructed well and with a good message.
08/25/09
This is so exquisite in flow and description. "Into the frozen ground would go the shell of one, and the hearts of two." Your writing has a poetic quality. I love the hope in your last paragraph.
08/25/09
What a bittersweet story. You captured their raw pain so well. Good job.
My first born turned seven yesterday, and I can't imagine losing him or any of my children. This tugged at the heart and I felt the pain of this couple. But you also helped me feel their hope at the end. Nicely written.
08/26/09
Poignant and lovely and perfect for this topic.