The Official Writing Challenge
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08/10/06
That was adorable!
I loved this! Not all the conversation seemed quite the way a young boy would word it, but I can certainly see a little boy getting a great plan for the future like that. Good job! :-)
08/11/06
I love the tender interplay between the two characters. My only observation is that it's a bit dialog-heavy--perhaps a bit more description of the action to help your readers visualize the scene? Really, a sweet story.
08/12/06
Cute story! I think Amy and Jan have points, but I thought it was really adorable as is. This reminds me of many little children I know.