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THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
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TITLE: Whispers of Love
By Jacob Gibson
03/24/08
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After the wonderful critiques I received from my first poem I decided to try a second one. To me, this feels like it could use a little more work in some areas, but I was unsure of what it needed. I would love to hear your opinions and how I can improve this. Thank you!
Back and forth they go, rushing from one thing to another
From home to work to the bank to the store to the movies to home again
They move at full speed everywhere they go, never slowing down
They ask Him to speak to them but His words are drowned out by the rushing wind of their feet

Flashing screens and booming sounds from all directions entrances them
The worldly voices say “Anything you want is yours if your money you'll give!
Do what feels good, forget responsibility. You only live once!”
An earthquake of noise fills their minds and they can’t concentrate on His words

Words of anger, acts of violence, envy, lust and greed
Idolatry, self-centeredness, and more sins crawl out from their hearts
Forgiveness is neglected, rebellion continues, the spirit is grieved
They ask Him to show them the way but can’t see with the fire of evil burning around them

In the stillness and quiet the others remain
talking with the Lord and reading His Word
They listen carefully for His voice
and suddenly hear a gentle whisper:
“I love you.”

I Kings 19:11-12
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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