TITLE: Redemption Chap 2 4 of 4 11 Feb 15 By Randy Somers 02/11/15 |
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NOTE: again I struggle with my word procession program not showing italics or paragraph breaks.
But the moment vanished. Buck drew silent again and the silence lengthened. He got up and went to the pickup, coming back with a set of house keys. Tossing them to Barbara, who had also stood, “Here are the keys. Everything is turned on, even the cable TV, with internet.” Buck wrote out his internet ID and password: Buck_E5.
“Thanks I’ll be able to email our sons.” Looking up at Chad, “Have you had any contact with Jason or Jeremy?”
Buck did not answer, but turned and went back to work.
Barbara watched him a minute then gathered the picnic leftovers and walked back to the cafe. Well, it’s a start.
Later that night Buck sat at his table with his laptop. He googled Frontal Lobe Dysfunction. He read several articles which stated:
Frontal Lobe Dysfunction is a form of amnesia. An injury or illness causes damage at the orbital frontal area. It can cause abnormal sexual behavior.
Buck read about Gage, a construction worker who had a steel rod blown through the front of his brain. This caused Gage to become exactly the opposite of his normal cheerful and moral self. Gage turned into a monster that cussed continually and participated in inappropriate sexual behavior. In Gage’s case the damage was permanent.
FLD can be a sly form of brain damage affecting judgment without injuring intelligence, speech or strength. FLD affects the patients social interactions, such as losing love for family; and they lose the restraint that normally inhibits immoral behavior. The patient will not even know that they are acting differently. Usually this change results in unrestrained sexually activity.
The rest of the articles delved into the scientific jargon of pleasure chemicals, changes in neural circuits and diagnosis.
Buck sat back and thought, Damn. It’s true.
As Buck searched the internet for evidence that Barbara was the whore he believed her to be, Barbara sat at another table and wrote:
May 3, 2005
I spoke with Chad today. Ten years. Ten long years. What a waste of life and time. I cannot understand what God had or has in mind for letting this happen. I only know that I'm here now. Finally.
He looks different, oh so different. He's harder, weathered by life and travel. Yet Chad is underneath all that anger, hate and distrust. I sensed it.
Not that I blame him. He's hurt beyond my understanding and his ability to cope. How have you survived all these years my beloved? Did you find love somewhere else? Were you able to be at peace, at least part of the time?
My loving husband, I know this first meeting was so hard for you. Yet you will never really understand the tears I've shed for you, for your hurt, for the pain I've caused you. Will you be able to see beyond the past into the future?
Oh Chad, I hope you learn just how much I really love you. For more than two years I've searched for you. My quest ended today. Yet it's not ended.
How long will it take before you want to be my husband again? How can I get you to understand how much I love you; how much those five years of wandering were not really me?
Even if I allowed my body to belong to others, my heart was always yours. My mind forced me to wander, but my heart longed for you. Deep inside, my heart longed for you.
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