Humor
A softball report of 6-15-07 Trinity Warriors
When in the course of human endeavor one attempts to comprehend the magnificence of an individual; one needs to pull from their wildest imagination and set free their minds to grasp the wonders of what God created in mankind. Last Friday night provoked such a moment as mentioned above.
The night it RAINED! A marvel of creation took the field in the human clothing of Linda, “RAIN,” Showers!!! Seldom have I seen the Trinity Warriors colors worn so magnificently. Our lady warrior played with the abilities of a National All-star. Catching everything that came her way for out after out, making double plays, and even sacrificing her body in a stretching dive to snatch a line drive; our RAIN fell like a refreshing deluge. Hats off to our super-heroine.
What a night. We won the first game and lost the second game to a graceful opponent, Colonial Baptist.
Again, I got to witness a grand slam with our powerhouse, “Raging,” Ray Williams doing what he does so well, knocking the daylights out of softballs.
Our oldie but goodie, “Iron Man’” Jack Sheets played like a youngster. He sat on the pitchers mound and sucked on his thumb. Not…little preacher humor there. No, he was a terror at bat with two triples that came back to back. Poor little Angie, Ouch,” Sebree had the misfortune to get on base both times just before Jack hit. She had to run her little legs off to keep in front of preacher Jack. No extra charge for the free cardiac vascular program, Mz. Ouch.
Jack, “Hooo-Whaa,” Waller played his last game before deploying with the Marines for seven months. We will truly miss the one man wrecking machine. Great game Jack! Our loss will be our countries gain. Via con dios, Jack.
Another powerhouse player was our newbie, Mike, “Roughie,” Duffy who put his body through pain and agony when he took a nosedive just short of home plate and had to crawl the rest of the way for a score. Crawling works…especially as fast as ole Roughie moved.
Our dynamic duo, Gillian “Toughie,” Duffy and Rosie, “Daughter of Flash,” Morong were having fun and even making a few plays to keep us going.
Time after time, John, “Bad Boy,” Bovender excelled at bat and on third. He is getting better every game and stepping up the fire in his wife, Wanda, “Bad Girl,” Bovender who did a right fair job of playing this dirty game. Bad to the bone!!!
Joining raging Ray for the title, “Can Do Man,” our beloved Joshua, “Bone Crusher,” Weatherspoon was like greased lighting blitzing the bases and outfield like a man with a grizzly bear on his tail. Power, speed, and proficiency, what a guy!
Faye, “Downtown,” Reel actually showed up for both games and played her heart out. I take back the boos of the past when she sold us out for a foreign team. (For Now!)
“Rocket Ricky, “ Gossert pitched the second game and held his own after being absent from the mound for a while. His beloved wife, Deanna, “Waddles,” Gossert, (Reservist) was called up for the first game because of a few LATE ladies, to save us from taking an automatic out. She was grieving for a sick pet but, stepped up for the good of the team. Thanks girl.
Coach, “Missile Mike,” Harrison had to go to work after the first game but not before he excelled at bat adding to our win of the first game.
I am still reliving the excitement of both games. You really need to be there to share the joy. A few more fans would be greatly appreciated. This year, you don’t even have to wear the bag over your head.
Well, I can go to bed now and dream I was the one who hit the grand slam and made all the double plays…okay, I said it was a dream!
Yours truly, Lucian “911,” Thompson, Reserve Extraordinaire
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