Fiction
Donita Abram let her SquakTalk ring for a while, humming along to the MaryMary song when she realized it was her son. “Hello? Anthony?”
“Yeah, relax, Ma. I’m fine. We’re—”
“Don’t call me ‘Ma.’ It makes me feel old.”
“Sure. Anyway, we’re done hoverboarding and I just wanted to make sure you didn’t forget that we’re all supposed to go out for dinner tonight. I know how you can distracted and everything—”
“Distracted?” she huffed. “I’d hardly call rescuing the world from mortal danger and the universe from utter destruction a mere ‘distraction.’ As a matter of fact, you should be thankful that I was ‘distracted’ otherwise you wouldn’t be here! No one would. You should be down on your knees paying homage—”
“I am down on my knees.”
Donita was caught off guard. “You are?”
“Uh-huh. I’m taking my boots off.”
She threw her hands up in exasperation. “Anthony Abram, sometimes I don’t know whether to laugh or scream at you.”
“I think Joseph would have to agree with you there.”
“Well, it’s his fault he went to work for you. Tell him I said hi and to make sure both of you stay out of trouble. I don’t have time to save you guys. In fact, I’m a little busy right now.”
“Mom! Why didn’t you tell me you were kicking some bad guy butt? You could’ve called me back.”
“I wanted to make sure you were all right. And besides, said bad dude was unconscious. But now he’s starting to wake up.”
“Oh.” There was a slight pause. “Choke?”
“Actually, more along the lines of suffocation. You could probably classify it as asphyxiation. New device and all.”
“Sweet…Well, I’m gonna let you go. Do your thing, Ma!”
“Don’t call me—”
Click.
Donita hung up her SquakTalk with a sigh and turned back to the alien life form writhing in pain at her feet. She grabbed a can from her belt and aimed it right at the horrible creature. “Now to finish you off.” She laughed long and loud as she pressed a button and a lemony smelling liquid sprayed out of the aluminum can. “Take that Mr. Dust Bunny!”
And it disintegrated right before her very eyes.
Donita wore a satisfied smirk as she wiped the wooden table clean with a rag. “Another one bites the dust!” she crowed in triumph.
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