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I watched her splash and play in the water, but more than that, I saw her smile.
She loved her friend.
She laughed when he dove into the water; she came close for a touch. All afternoon, there was rest and peace about her spirit, and when he spoke of a subject she didn't agree with, she mentioned it respectfully without a trace of bitterness.
She had two kids, a boy and a girl, but she wasn't one of those mamas who dotes on the kids every minute while ignoring her man. He got part of her, too. Some of her thought, her joy, her life was directed his way on that sunny summer day as we all splashed in the deep blue. And he was satisfied.
It's becoming rather easy to note when a man seems satisfied with life and joyful with his wife, because it's so rare. But when a woman becomes her man's friend, his cup is full. He married her because he wanted a friend more than he wanted a mother for his kids, a cook, or someone to direct his life. He wanted a girl to share life with, and sharing life is more than sharing a bed-- it is sharing smiles and thoughts and cares and touch. It is looking his way even when you don't have to.
Einai is the Greek word used in Titus 2:4-5 where it says the young women are to love their husbands. �And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind, submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.�
Two of the definitions for Einai are �to lust after� and �to please well�. This includes, but is more than, sex. A good man wants all of you, not just your body. He craves your smiles, care, touch, and joy more than you know, and even a quiet man notices when those things seem directed to everyone but himself.
Notice that it says �to love their husbands� before it says �to love their children�. If we get this one right, if we really learn how to love our man well, this is one of the greatest gifts we give our children. Children notice (a lot), when mama isn't that fond of daddy. They also notice (a lot) when she is, and their security level goes way up because they want a strong, happy unit to grow in.
It's OK to ask the kids to be quiet for awhile so daddy has your full attention. My own husband has felt shut down so many times when my attention diverted to the kids every other second as he was trying to talk with me. I learned that kids can wait, but a good marriage doesn't just happen. In the same way we utilize healthy relationship tactics with our friends, we must with our husbands as well.
He is not just the man, the provider, the bread winner, the taxi. He is to be our friend.
If there is a block in your heart, find out why. If you can't get to the bottom of it on your own, reach out for help and learn what it is in him or yourself that makes you shy away rather than come in. Sometimes, caring for the yuck in our own hearts is all it takes to give our marriage a mighty boost. What man doesn't love to have his woman smile and enjoy his presence? What man doesn't notice when she goes out of his way to make him happy or meet his needs?
Either we fertilize his heart, or we drain the soil of his life from the minerals already there. Which one will we be-- a life drainer or a life giver? Let's let him grow for the better as he shares life with us.
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