In order for a Christian couple to establish a relationship in the first place, they must have many things in Common. Interests that you share - common traits, view points, likes and dislikes, etc. Obviously, commonality supports the relationship.
There are always some Differences.
Differences can be threatening to the relationship if you allow them to be. These are the little things that "bug you." *The Best Approach is to “Respect your Differences” and let them be OK. If you don't give your significant other permission to be different, then you have problems.
If you can't allow a difference to be OK, then you must discuss and work it out. You might even make a deal and say, ”I'll quit doing this if you quit doing that.” In any circumstance, unlikeness must be handled.
Be aware that Male and Female Brains are wired in a different way. Women are more in touch with their environment. For example, the average woman can't leave home without making up the bed, whereas men could care less. We both use our right and left brain, but women start thinking with their Emotional Mind first, then switch to Logical thinking. Men do exactly the opposite.
Here is an example concerning a Preacher. His upset wife Frantically calls from the airport, “Honey I missed my plane, I missed my plane, what am I going to do?” The preacher says, “Ok, just go to the ticket counter and check the next flight.” “But you don't understand,” his wife repeated, “I missed my plane”. The savvy preacher pauses and thinks to himself, “I am not addressing her emotional needs first.” Then he said, “Honey, I'm real sorry you missed your plane. That is just terrible. Now go to the ticket counter...”. When the preacher acknowledged his wife's emotions first, then switched to logical instruction, everything was fine.
Men, when your lady is distressed, she probably has Emotional Needs that must be acknowledged. Usually, understanding and comforting is what she needs. And God knows, most men can improve on their “Understandability.” Right ladies?
Men and Women have Different Relationship Needs.
The number one relationship need for women is to be LOVED. They have to be told they are loved on a daily basis. Women also need to be Shown they are loved too. So men, if you are not doing this, you had better start. Get off your macho high-horse and simply say, “I love you”. Men, I guarantee if your lady is not happy, you won't be either.
Men have different Love Requirements. Simply knowing they are loved at home is enough and don't have to be told. So, what is a man's number one Relationship Need? They need to be RIGHT. To satisfy this requirement a woman has to tell her man he is so smart, so good, and Right about everything. “Making your Man Wrong,” is absolutely the worst thing ladies can do.
In order for a relationship to remain healthy and happy, it must not get Boring. Boredom kills relationships real fast. Couples must constantly do things that keep the relationship exciting, active, and alive. Spontaneous things that make it fun. Here is where your Common Interests come in handy. What do you enjoy doing together? What makes him happy? What makes her happy? Then simply do it.
Message for men.
Man to man, here's an important tip. What is one thing all women will never get tired of in a million years? Know what that is? Romance! Romancing your lady on a regular basis pays huge benefits for you. A simple candlelight dinner with flowers will suffice. Romance keeps love alive and your lady happy also.
Be Aware why Marriages Fail.
The number one reason for divorce is Breakdown in Communication. Couples absolutely must talk to each other and discuss things. Usually, when communication is lost, so goes the marriage. The second reason for divorce is related to Financial Problems.
*Christian Couples have big advantages. They can seek advice and counseling from their minister if needed. Reading the Bible together has a powerful Bonding effect, under God. And last but not least, “Couples who Pray Together, Stay Together.”
Hope you find this helpful.
Your Christian Brother,
Dr. Joe K. Reed
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