TITLE: When I was Nine By Diane Moore 01/12/07 |
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When I was Nine
When you are nine years old life is suppose to be filled with dolls,
Barbies, and summer days. At nine you should be worried about
weather, if it will be rainy or if the sun will be shining so you can
go out and play. You shouldn’t have to worry about sickness. At
nine years old your Mother should be there to teach you things,
how to sew, how to cook, how to go from tomboy to a lady.
At nine I was robbed of a life filled with girlish parties, childhood
& innocence. My Mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor in
1970; I was nine years old; too young to understand how my life
had suddenly changed, old enough to know something was
wrong. No longer was my Mom there to do things for me, to teach
me things and to take me places. We had to take her places and
do things for her. I grew up fast, too fast, driving when I was twelve,
running errands, doing housework, and taking care of the younger
ones. There were days when I wanted to run away, I didn’t want
to see my Mom that way, I wanted her back the way she was.
Gone was the Mom I knew, full of joy and full of life; in their places
pain and suffering.
Through the years of her illness, I became a woman, made strong
through her weakness. She fought each day to stay alive, to be
there for her children; until 18 years later, she could fight no more.
My Mom passed away on Easter Sunday 1988, at last she could
find rest and peace.
Oh! To go back to when I was nine, to go back to those carefree
days when life was filled with summer days of running barefoot
through the fields, picking blackberries and eating most of them
before we got home. Summer evenings of sitting on Grandma’s
front porch watching the sunset and listening to the grownups talk,
waiting for Mamma to call me home for supper.
I am forty-five now, but there is a nine year old inside of me that
still remembers the heartaches of childhood. I can’t go back in
time, I can only go forward and live each day to it’s fullest, as if
I was nine again.
Diane Moore
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