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TITLE: Out of Darkness
By dee smith
10/31/11
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written for others who hurt.
I begin in darkness. It is all I know. It is lonely, but in a strange way comfortable. There is pain, yet it is my pain—familiar. I stumble along trying to figure out why I am here. Where am I going? I am vaguely aware of a person or concept called God. But I have no idea how to get to God or relate to Him. Off in the distance I see a light. This is a strange new sight as I am used to my darkness. The Light calls out to me to come. I am unsure and afraid. What will I find in the Light. Will I be exposed? Is it safe? I hesitate. I look around and all I see is darkness and the familiar pain. What have I got to lose? So I turn toward the Light and take a step. I’ve only taken one step yet the Light seems so much brighter now. Is it moving toward me? Should I turn and run? What have I gotten myself into? Is there an escape? Fear seems to overwhelm me, yet I am drawn to the Light like a moth to the flame. I stop and wait to see what will happen. The Light stops and calls out to me again to come and not be afraid. The Light desires good for me. The Light says I love you. What is love? What are the conditions, the rules. How do I relate to this infinite Light that now fills my view? Part of me wants to run, yet another part wants to stay. I look up and ask if it is okay to just stay here for a moment. The Light is patient and waits for me. I get used to the experience and wonder what else is contained in the Light. Do I dare take another step? I find a Person in the Light.
Who are you?
I am Jesus, come with Me for I have much to show you and I long for you to be with Me.
Are You sure? I look down and realize I am covered with filth. No, I can’t come with You – look at me.
Don’t worry. I will clean you up and give you a robe of righteousness to wear.
Why? Why would you do that?
Because I love you.
What’s love?
Come I will show you. You will be safe in Me.
So we begin to walk. My finite mind trying to understand the Infinite. I am overwhelmed. It seems to easy, surely there must be rules boundaries, something I can grasp. So I build a box and all that I cannot explain I put into the box I have labeled God.
I turn and waunder off. Knowing that my God box is safe. I’ve built it very strong and large, or so I think. I turn and find the box torn apart.
The Light says “I’m bigger than that”.
I am afraid. Have I angered the Light? Will He leave me? Where would I go? I do not want to go back to the darkness.
The Light says, It’s okay. I know your heart. Trust Me.
I ask if I can just crawl in His lap and rest awhile. I am too overwhelmed. How could He possibly love me that much?
Yes. I want to hold you and protect you. Come to Me and let me put my arms around you, hold you and love you.
Wow! What an experience. How can I describe it? I am at peace. Now I feel comfortable to continue on the journey. I still don’t have a clue where I am going, but it is alright for now.
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