Grief

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The Pursuit of Shadows
How can I reach them? They used to believe in the Lord; at least I thought they did. Perhaps they still do. Besides, who am I to judge the current state of a person’s soul as they are seen by the Almighty? However does not God say that, “you will know them by their fruits?” If it is true that I can know the state of my siblings’ souls by their fruits, then I fear greatly for where they will end up after the brief moments of their lives here are spent. The question echoes: How can I reach them with the Gospel of Christ before their dark pursuer, Death, overtakes them on their broken paths of life? Only God can bring light to their path and repair the crevices created by the ill choices made in the past.
I am partly to blame for the choices that led my brother and sister to travel their current shadowy path. I am the oldest of three kids who departed from the Lord at an early age. Like the prodigal son I left to pursue my new god; Pleasure. Naturally, my brother who was the second born followed my path. At first I offered him cigarettes and booze. Then the items became gradually worse, but they were also more pleasurable. At about the time my brother and I were regularly coughing up tar from the amount of weed we were smoking, my sister came to an age where she began to brave our path.
I remember the first time I smoked pot with my sister. My brother and I were out in the back yard huddled up against the corner of the house. It was cold enough to make our noses run, because we had to wait a good hour after our parents went to sleep to go smoke (it was hard to wait until nearly midnight to get stoned). After only a couple minutes of being outside my sister came around the corner and asked to join us. My conscience was wrenched and I felt sick to my stomach. I had no idea that my sister was involved in drugs like we were. My brother, however, knew that my sister had been smoking pot for a while, so he happily passed her the cold metal pipe. I was about sixteen years old. My brother was fourteen, and my sister only twelve.
As the years went by, the three of us who began on the same path began to take occasional detours. I ended up giving my existence over to narcotics, pornography, and homosexuality. My brother gave his live to narcotics, theft, and jail. My sister traversed the path of narcotics, alcohol, and bad men. These paths led away from God, family, friends, and sanity.
I am now twenty-eight years old. I gave my life to the Lord nearly four years ago. He has “restored the years that the locusts have eaten” and gave me the ability to clean up and serve Him. My brother is twenty-six years old. He got out of jail almost a year ago. It seemed to scare him because he is cautious as to what he involves himself with. He still drinks and steals, but he steals music and movies off the internet instead of stealing from stores. My sister is twenty-three years old. She is holding down a job, but was busted two months ago for crashing her car while drunk. She fled the scene and could not be charged a DUI. However, the law did their best to take her license with other charges.
The saddest part about this story is that we all grew up in a Christian home. We went to church regularly and all professed to trust in Christ at some point before that night we were outside smoking pot. Unfortunately, now even my parent’s perseverance is gone. My family is now pursuing the god of money. If they continue down their current path, they will die in their sins. They could die tomorrow.
God managed to get a hold of me only through the deepest of emotional pain, a divorce. I pray that God will break my siblings and my parents also. If it is pain that will break them, then I pray their tears will burn them into reconsidering God’s path. Tears of repentance can dissolve the walls that currently hold them back from the Lord. Please pray with me for their salvation.

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