Poetry

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Separate Lives

He’s not here any more. Bill collectors or others
call for Mr. R. J. He doesn’t live here. He’s in a
Nursing home. This is his wife, may I help you?
They hang up. Wife goes back to her chores.

Taking out the trash, cause hubby’s not here
Washing the dishes, cause he’s not here
Feed and water cat, cause he’s not here
Let cat in and out, cause he’s not here

Do all the grocery shopping, cause he’s not here
Check oil in car, put in gas, cause he’s not here
Cancel cable TV., can’t afford it, cause he’s not here
Turn off second phone line, cause he’s not here

Cook meals for only one, cause he’s not here
Try and get everything done, cause he’s not here
Need to sell motor home, cause he’s not here
Can’t afford to license it, cause he’s not here

Need to clean out the garage, cause he’s not here
Sons leave their stuff at Mom’s, cause Dad’s not here
Don’t call to see if Mom’s okay, cause Dad’s not here
Her friends do that, anyway, cause Dad’s not here

She now has peace & quiet, cause Dad’s not here
No one to complain to, cause Dad’s not here
She can sing all she wants, cause Dad’s not here
Laugh really loud and crazy, cause Dad’s not here

Neighbors don’t seem to notice, that Dad’s not here
Children don’t come by to visit, their Dad’s not here
Mom doesn’t seem to matter, cause Dad’s not here
She can get by just fine, even though Dad’s not here


Lives Separated

They called January 8th, I was asleep, worked 22 days straight
I checked my voice mail But when I did it was quite late,
I wasn’t awake when they took him to the hospital
What could I have done, drove half asleep
And got in a wreck, not arriving there at all
I got chewed out by my sister-in-law nurse
I wasn’t allowed a life—sick husbands should come first
They didn’t know the neglect for 39 years endured
Because alcoholism was denied, and certainly not cured

He made his choices to drink and eat sweets
And 8 inch wide patties of fat sausage meats
He chose not to walk or keep up his strength
I urged and I prayed and waited the length
Of time that it took for his heart to give out
For I knew he was dying, was certain, no doubt
I tried to help my sons get prepared
For life without Dad, once he wasn’t there
Guilt tries to attack me, to say you failed your spouse
You weren’t a good wife, you were truly a louse
But I know the truth and so do close friends
When diabetes and alcohol make no amends
To lengthen a life with such a weak heart
God won’t agree if we don’t keep our part
Obey His commands, follow the rules he sets down
Ev chose his own path, wouldn’t be turned around
Chose to ignore loving advice or to pray
And now he’s been gone for 5 weeks and one day

Whether he gave his heart and life to God in the end
I don’t know, I have other souls to attend
I prayed faithfully, yet couldn’t decide his fate
Nor override his free will, I was merely his mate
I stuck by him through house fires and other disasters,
Long-term illness, wrecked cars, insurance rose faster
Than I could keep up with, and refused to let him drive
And you see now he’s gone, his heart couldn’t survive
All the alcohol abuse and other insults
When you choose to eat wrong, death’s the final result
I’m left all alone, except for God, to clean up his mess
And to cope with the bills and the unending stress
But God’s my Heavenly Father and I’m in His Care
And a divine plan for me He will certainly share
As I trust in Him and lean on His holy word
Cause you see, long ago, I gave my life to the Lord
And I’m living for him and still moving forward
I didn’t die when my spouse breathed his last breath
My heart still beats on and won’t join his in death
God has lots of work down here for me to do
And a Long life ahead before it’s all through
I’m trusting in Jesus and praying each day
That a mountain of debt He will soon take away
He is my provider, my lover, my friend
And Heaven’s my home when it’s time for my end

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