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The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33

Short Stories

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Surprise,Surprise Minichallenge 3202008

by Jodie Banner
03/20/08
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Megan stared at the stain, horrified. It was swiftly spreading around the gaping hole left by her father's shotgun.

Suddenly the intruder fell forwards into her arms, and whispered, "Megan my love, I had to see you just one last time."

"Oh my darling Roger, I told you not to come here!"

Roger's reply was cut short by the second shotgun blast.




Megan stared at the stain, horrified. All was quiet in the pristine environment, except for the sound of uncontrollable sobbing. Megan soon realized the noises were coming from her own body. She slowly looked around. The smiles on the varied faces confused her, the dark oily footprints had ruined the stark white carpeting.".

Suddenly they all shouted, "April Fool!"

"We finally got you!" Announced her hosts.

Megan was not amused.


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Reader Count & Comments
Date
Holly Westefeld
22 Mar 2008
Sounds like one over-reacting dad. Shooting at Roger while he was in his daughter's arms could have disastrous consequences.
Perhaps its the hour, but I'm missing something in the second one, like if Megan didn't leave the footprints, who did? Or if it wasn't hard to clean oil, what was it?
Hanne Moon 
22 Mar 2008
Good job, Jodie! The first one reminded me of those old "silent" movies - very dramatic! :D I agree with Megan in the second one - not funny at all!
Mo
21 Mar 2008
Deep, both required a 2nd read. Lots of drama. Good job!
Lyn Churchyard
21 Mar 2008
Jodie, these are awesome! The first one could even be expanded to a full novel!
Great going girl
Jan Ackerson
20 Mar 2008
I give this one two "Yikes!"--one for each story! Surprise, indeed--you "got" me both times. Thanks, Jodie!
Tim Pickl
20 Mar 2008
Looking through tear-stained colored glasses, indeed!
K. J. Cash
20 Mar 2008
Oh Gracious, did she shoot him? What a bad bad girl!
Betty Castleberry
20 Mar 2008
I'm amazed at the unique stories that are coming out of that one little sentence. These were enjoyable.
Kristen Hester
20 Mar 2008
Very good writing. I enjoyed these very much! Great job.
Loren T. Lowery
20 Mar 2008
Whereever did you come up with these ideas? Maybe I'm not suppose to have, but they did put a smile on my face : )
Joanney Uthe 
20 Mar 2008
It's amazing how much story some people can tell in so few words. Great job.

The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com. This is especially true with articles that deal with personal healthcare and prophecy. We encourage the reader to make their own decision in consultation with God, His Word, and others as needed.

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