Family
The memories of yesteryear often come flooding into the memory of those who are elderly. One of the most poignant is the scenes of the back porch. Dad and Mom sitting relaxed in their respective chairs or on the porch swing gently swaying back and forth as the events of the day were discussed.
The kids after a game or two generally retired to the porch steps to eavesdrop on the conversation of the adults. It was a real school of learnin’.
“Sure was hot today! You know Maw a cold glass of lemonade sure would taste good.”
It wasn’t long before Maw would return with a glass for each of them and the evening would progress with chit chat about the events of the day.
“Finally got that old Ford of Fred’s fixed. Seems like its always need somethin’. But it sure helps to keep bread and butter on the table.”
“You work hard Pa and I appreciate it.”
“I hear old George got a new Chevy. Don’t suppose I’ll get much business from him for awhile. They say them things run quite a spell before they needs fixin’.”
“I saw Emma Lou today.”
“Oh, yeah? What did she know?”
“Not much. She was buyin’ material for Leila a new dress. Seems she has a new boyfriend.”
“Anybody I know?”
“That kid from over yonder. Name’s John I think.”
“Oh, must be Carl’s boy. Right nice feller.”
“The material she got was real perty. Blue taffeta. Seemed like a bit expensive but guess they can afford it.”
“Now, Maw, you know I don’t know what taffety is.”
“Sure you do. It’s what my good black dress is made out of.”
“Oh, yeah. Wish I could buy you a new one.”
“Now Pa, you just don’t go worryin’ ‘bout buyin’ me any new clothes. My black dress is just fine.”
“Say, did you hear about Jed and them fellers that he is always hangin’ out with gettin’ drunk the other night?”
“Can’t say I did. What happened?”
“Oh, they got all tanked up and then went out and smashed up one of their cars. It’s a wonder they weren’t all killed. You’d think they’d get the message that liquor just makes ‘em crazy. Besides Jed’s woman sure could use some decent clothes and a decent house to live in.”
“She does the best she can Pa.”
“I know she does but I’d like to horsewhip that man of hers. You’d think he’d care about his family more than that. Them boys of his is gonna follow right in his footsteps. A man ought to be a man and take care of his family.”
“It is so sad. I’m so glad you don’t drink Pa.”
“I think the green beans will be about ready to can tomorrow.”
“Do you want me to help you pick ‘em?”
“I don’t guess. There won’t be too many tomorrow. But thanks for carin’.”
“You’re a special woman, Maw. You work really hard to help a man.”
“Oh, now, Pa, don’t go fillin’ my head with too much of that blarney.”
“Well, it’s true. You make a man mighty proud.”
“Think I’ll go over to Jack’s tomorrow and see if I can give him a hand. I hear he ain’t been feelin’ too good lately. Think I’ll take Roy with me.”
“That would be nice. I’m sure Jack would ‘preciate it and it will give Roy something to do. Jean can help me with the beans.”
It’s about to get dark. Better go git the Bible so’s we can read before it gets too dark.”
“Jean, go git’ the Bible for your Pa.”
And the day would close with Bible reading and prayer. Each member of the family would be remembered as well as the neighbors and friends.
How about reading the story over and consider what the “kids” learned or saw exemplified as they listened and observed their parents casual conversation: Consider values, morals, good characteristics, bad traits.
1. Servanthood without complaint
2. Work brings profit
3. Appreciation
4. Lack of envy.
5. Observation
6. Other people notice good character
7. Need for care in spending
8. Pa not afraid to admit he didn’t know something
9. Desire to provide better for family
10. Reassurance from Maw that she was satisfied and content
11. Alcohol is bad
12. Alcohol robs from a family
13. Men should be more considerate for the family they are responsible for
14. Recognition of another’s willingness to persevere under hardship
15. Judgment of proper family care
16. Sorrow and concern over the fate of another
17. Notice of another’s willingness to work hard
18. Modesty
19. Willingness to help a neighbor in need
20. Children are required to work
21. Bible reading has a special place
22. Prayer is requesting God to look after the affairs of concern
Children often (most of the time) appear to not be listening but the old adage, “Little pitchers have big ears,” still holds true. Even though children are playing and often talking among themselves they are still listening to the conversations going on around them. Their curiosity about what the “older set” thinks is a natural instinct built into each one of them. Never fear, children do listen!
Hence the command of God to Moses, Deuteronomy 6:1-3 “These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life... be careful to obey so that it may go well with you...”
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up . Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
Have you ever tried to dismiss a child while you held conversation that you did not want them to listen in on? If so, you know what I mean. They have an insatiable desire to hear what is being said.
It is in our casual conversations, such as the one above, that we teach our values and morals. The same is true of ALL conversations overheard. Children pickup values and morals as they see/hear their parents and others respond in action and in word.
Now, consider where your children are learning their values and morals. Who do they hear talking all day long? How much conversation do you engage in in their presence with family members and others? How much TV do they watch? Oh, yeah, that counts. In fact, it may provide more reinforcement than casual conversation because they not only hear but they see. The more senses that are involved in the learning process the more effective that process is.
That is why writers use descriptive terms. They want you to visualize, hear, feel, smell, and remember touch and taste. For instance they do not say ... ‘The children ate cookies.’ They will say something like this... ‘The boys, all hot and sweaty from their baseball game, noisily came into the kitchen where Mom was baking chocolate chip cookies. Each boy grabbed one and stuffed it into his mouth. Man, they were good.’
You get the sense of gender (boys), smell/feel (hot and sweaty), hear (noisily), place (kitchen), person (Mom), action (baking), taste and smell (hot chocolate chip cookies), action (grabbed and stuffed), taste (mouth), and appreciation (good).
Can you see how much more interesting the last sentence is than the first? That is what your children are exposed to on a continual basis. The more involved the senses are the more effective the learning process.
Never fear, your children are learning. The question remains, “What are they learning by what they see, hear, and experience.
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