Healthy Living
If they really knew me, would they still love me?
That is the question that lurks in our minds. We go on dates in an attempt to see if someone interests us enough. We go steady after we realize that they possibly might work, but beyond all of that some of us, may I be bold and say, the majority of us as we smile and tell of our superficial selves we wonder could this be the one that becomes our soul mate. The one we wish we can pour our hearts out to. That desire to be swept in something bigger (that some claims to be called love), will we experience it with that person? We wonder.
After the first date, we dream of the time spent together and we smile as we reminisce, revisiting the moment, playing the movie that we’ve just been part in over and over in our minds.
We want to be intimate, but there is no guarantee that he/she will love us like we are and so we hide part of our selves. Let me say what sounds good, let me illicit emotions, let me get them to dream about how wonderful I am, while at the same time we’re dying for them to know our true selves, to love us for who we truly are, but we never give them the chance.
Why are we so afraid to be open with our mate? Our fear is legitimate. The possibility of being rejected after sharing a shameful past is very real. So then what do we do? What do we do with the desire to be true, to be ‘naked’ with the one we love when we’re afraid he/she might leave?
Who would disagree with the statement: Love is powerful? That statement is starting to come to life for me as I step into the relationship world. I've seen the changes taking place and it makes me wonder about its power. I think it renders me speechless, the humility that it brings and the willingness to give instead of receive. The beauty of it is as you give; you automatically receive.
In response to the questions: Why are we so afraid to be open with our mate?
I believe we feel that we are fallen. We all know that we can be better than how we are and that we were created to be better than this. We have Golden rules, commandments and we see our inability to follow them and it makes us feel like we're failing. We sense that we should be better but we're not, so we hide. While in hiding we put our mask of perfection. I can't let you see my imperfection because I can't risk you not liking me because of them.
Perhaps, it should start with accepting that we are fallen and loving ourselves and others with our imperfections. That's when one can experience true intimacy.
What do we do with the desire to be 'naked' when we're afraid he/she might leave?
Be naked anyways. If it doesn't work, someone else will come who will love you without the fig leaves/make-up.
It is just so beautiful to be open and true that's it's not worth it to hide in order to keep someone.
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I'm still learning how to be real with God. and the more I allow myself to do that the more He shows me true acceptance and love.
This was a blessing to read, I really enjoyed it. Thanks