Women

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“By Faith I Feel His Arms Around Me”

I spent the past ten days with my daughter, Rachel’s, family in VA. I retreated from an adult world of big things, emotional happenings, heavy discussions and difficult heartaches to one of little people--story books, cookies and kisses.

The little girls, Sierra (6), and Aleya (3), and I played games, went on dates, made round cookies and frosted them like pumpkins. We laughed a lot, sewed little dresses and doled out sugar-free gum. I answered dozens of questions, examined the meaning to many words and played grocery store. We passed out blessing words of encouragement and soaked up cozy sensations that spelled “loved.” At nighttime we crawled into bed together, remembered “thankful for” things and sang favorite songs.

The boys, Jayden (17 months), and Jackson (16 months), learned to say “Grandma” and hollered it from their bed until I got to them. They found out that Grandma’s hands weren’t as busy as mama’s, and came for lots of pats and “pick-me-ups.” I changed an abundance of diapers, folded plenty of little boys clothes, mused over antics and studied personalities. Each time I tucked them into bed I repeated parts of Psalm 23, and prayed pleading prayers over them.

You know, living in this little tot world brought changes to my spirit. I felt as if the heavy parts in my heart trickled away. One evening as I read a little book on prayer to Aleya, I felt my previously desperately faltering faith seep slowly, then strongly back into my soul. I heard myself thinking, “Yes, my Father--You are trustworthy. You are my God! By faith I feel Your arms around me and hear You say, ‘Donna, you’re not alone.’”

I wondered why I don’t chose to live in this simple, child-like world all the time. Why, I asked myself, do I make life so big? The Father calls me to quietness, to rest, to trust. Is there a way to feel less deeply; to care--but not carry it; to hurt--but not so badly?

As Bob and I traveled home we discussed various adult situations, studied our grandchildren’s hearts together and wondered about the future. I felt big things all over again, along with a yearning to turn back to that little tot world. I realized I’m again facing life. The real world, as we call it.

And yes, while the child-like innocence beckons--The truth is, I am no longer a child. While quietness and rest is a call from the Father--there is often struggle to get there. And during the process of hurting badly and caring deeply--there is truly that sense of rest, even in our adult-world, as “by faith I feel His arms around me and hear Him say, ‘Donna, you’re not alone.’”

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