Encouragement

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by Apostle Steve Adonai

02/04/26
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MARITAL CONNECTION, COOPERATION AND COMPLETION.
Years of power struggle or tussle and domestic contention and challenges have swept away the romance and excitement of the wedding and honeymoon of many, so, they took or are currently considering the easy, but not the best pathway of divorce.

1 Corinthians 6:1-2.
And how dare you take each other to court! When you think you have been wronged, does it make any sense to go before a court that knows nothing of God’s ways instead of a family of Christians?

This message is a powerful, healthy, and psychologically sound framework for a successful and enduring marriage, moving it from a power struggle to a partnership. It highlights a critical shift from viewing marriage as a tournament to seeing it as a partnership. The move from competition to cooperation is often framed as moving from "me" to "we," which is essential for lasting unity, harmony and love.

Spousal competition is subtle, ugly and ungodly contention. It appears harmless, common and normal, but dangerous and a powerful tool of the devil to tear down this good gift from God. God says, marriage is good and HONORABLE, it commands, attracts and releases His favor. God originated, ordained and endorses the marriage between a man and a woman FOR LIFE.

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created him; male and female created him.

Proverbs 18:22
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Mark 10:7-9
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

However, spousal competition which is a subtle, ungodly and ugly contention has become the primary threat, a dividing force tearing down many marital relationships. The ultimate consequence is that spousal competition breeds resentment, insecurity, and division, destroying intimacy. Labeling it ungodly, wrong and demonic highlights the fact that it breaks the foundational covenant of becoming one flesh, replacing unity with self-interest, an insidious attempt of the devil to steal, kill and destroy marriage, God precious gift to keep humanity and society pure, sane and holy.

This Subtle and ungodly marital rivalry should never be allowed in any marriage, but be treated as a prime enemy of such a union that defines and shapes lives, communities and nations. Competition creates a "win-lose" dynamic where one person’s success threatens and feels like the other’s failure. Competition often begins with small things—like who works harder or who is "right"—but it can quietly and quickly erode trust and replace love with pride, hate and contention.

Marital competition causes couples to fight against each other rather than fighting with each other as a team against external issues like finances, stress, life challenges and mainly against the devil, the enemy of our souls and every good and perfect gift from God. The "place" for competition and contention is first and foremost against the kingdom of darkness and worldly standards that are contrary to biblical, godly marital standards, and not within the home, which should be a safe haven and citadel of spiritual and sound character development. The Bible warns that contentiousness acts like a constant brawling that leads to ruin and blocks spiritual intimacy and maturity.

The Solution is for spouses to endeavor to Connect, Cooperate, Complement, and Complete one another.
This is a divine formula and wisdom for interdependence, not codependence. Even interdependence without prayer, the help and power of the Holy Spirit and God's Word will eventually fail and falter, because God, the rock of our salvation, deliverance and eternal security is excluded.

James 3:13-18.
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.

Connect: Build emotional intimacy. Building "micro-connections"—small gestures like a two-minute undistracted conversation or a kind text—creates a foundation of emotional safety. Move up systematically to building macro-connections, medium and major gestures of mutual commitment that nurture partnership through fellowship.

Cooperate: Work as a team, not rivals. Treating your spouse as a teammate rather than an opponent ensures you are both fighting the same problem instead of each other. This would work easier, better and more lasting when the connection gestures and well in place in the relationship.

Complement: Leverage different strengths instead of forcing sameness. Embracing differences., for instance, one spouse’s extroversion balancing the other's introversion, creates a stronger, more unified body, bonding and blending of gifts, talents and uniqueness where both parts are necessary. This helps each part or party discover and appreciate and put into use the others advantages for abundant rewards through synergy.

Complete: Help each other become better versions of yourselves . Marriage is designed by God so that "two become one flesh," by using individual strengths to make the whole even better and bigger together.

This Shift Matters, and is imperative because Success is Shared: In a healthy marriage, your spouse's win is your win; there is no joy in "winning" an argument if it breaks the relationship. This calls for self control and discipline which is a major product of tongue control.

James 3:2.
Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

Spiritual Growth: Moving away from rivalry allows you to focus on honoring God, your partner and fulfilling your shared purpose faster, better and bigger, far beyond our wildest imagination because God is totally involved and committed. Miracles happen where the bond of unity is ensured and emphasized.

Intimacy Over Ego: Replacing the need to be right with humility builds a home, whereas endless arguments tear it down. Admitting our faults and asking for forgiveness builds and strengthens, and enhances confidence, trust and loyalty, opening and boosting friendliness.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord (a couple joined to God) is not quickly broken.

Hallelujah!

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