Marriage

Should Husbands Listen to their Wives?

by Ezekiel Olukolajo
01/26/21
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Should Husbands Listen to their Wives?

There are two popular instances in the Bible where husbands got completely detached, disconnected and derailed from God’s purpose because they listened to their wives.

One instance is in Genesis 3:17; “And unto Adam he (God) said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life”.

The second instance is in Genesis 16:2; “And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai”. 

In the two instances mentioned above, the singular action of the men listening to their wives at those particular times have had extremely terrible and far reaching effects upon the whole humanity which still linger till today. But does this mean that husbands should not listen to the voices, advices and opinions of their wives in all situations? Certainly not!  

One of the major reason God instituted marriage is for companionship between the man and his wife, and this includes reasoning together. The fact that things went wrong at those instances given above, does not mean things will always go wrong when husbands listen to the voice and advice of their wives.

For those men out there who may want to create excuses or justifications based on the instances mentioned above, to not listen to or completely ignore their wives’ advices and opinions, it’s important to quickly advise you to not get the message twisted. For your information, the Bible equally provides us with many instances where it was the godly voice and advice of certain wives that kept their husbands on track at critical times of difficulties.

In Matthew 27:19; it was the advice of Pilate’s wife that guided him concerning the stand to take in the prosecution of the Innocent Christ “When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him”.

It must be understood that the thinking framework and process of a woman is totally different from that of a man. Naturally, a woman has the ability to view an issue simultaneously from mental, emotional, volitional, and spiritual perspectives, although in varying degrees. Whereas men will naturally consider a matter majorly from a logical viewpoint, women have the unusual ability to bring so many considerations into their thoughts and decision making process. Sometimes, emotions may overshadow the thought process, but that does not in any way undermine the uniqueness of a woman’s thinking architecture. This is not a weakness per se; in fact, it could be an unexplainable strength.  

For the common good of the family, it’s extremely important that both husbands and wives submit themselves to the leading of the Holy Spirit in all matters of life and existence. While I quite agree that part of the strict responsibilities of a husband, as the Priest of the family, is to receive divine guidance and provide leadership for his family, it’s necessary to mention that the wife equally has a critical role to play in listening to God’s voice in order to complement her husband in performing his God-given role. There are so many instances in the Bible where it was the wives that got the divine revelations concerning the destinies and purpose of God for their children (Judges 13:1–15, Luke 1:26–38, and Matthew 1:18–25).  

Two indeed are better than one; two also see better than one when they see through the eyes of each other. The challenge before all wives out there is to ensure that their voices represent the voice of God when advising or giving opinions to their husbands. Unlike Eve and Sarai, who unfortunately yielded themselves to project the devil’s voice, wives must always be on their toes in terms of spiritual alertness and sensitivity, so as to provide regular check in gauging their husbands’ decisions and steps in line with God’s purpose.

While thinking through all of these, part of the thoughts running through my mind was: where was Naomi when Elimelech made the decision to relocate the family from Bethlehem Judah to Moab? Of course, I’m sure you remember the dire consequence of that misadventure. Also in Esther 5:14; “Then said Zeresh his wife and all his friends unto him, Let a gallows be made of fifty cubits high, and to morrow speak thou unto the king that Mordecai may be hanged thereon: then go thou in merrily with the king unto the banquet. And the thing pleased Haman; and he caused the gallows to be made”; why couldn’t Zeresh (Haman’s wife), give right advice to her husband, but gave a counsel that eventually pushed him to a shameful, untimely and tragic end?

When talking about what befalls families, a lot seems to depend on the wives, and that’s why wives must be sensitive on what advice, opinions, and counsel they give to their husbands. The greatest blessing to any man is to have a wise woman as wife. Men should listen to their wives, but wives must always ensure that their voices do not amplify the enemies’ voice. Husbands, if you ignore the voices of wise wives who also hear from God, you’re doing so at your own peril! Please listen to your wife!

Shalom!

By Ezekiel Olukolajo   

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