Marriage
This is a key to a good marriage.
Not that wives should not love their husbands and husbands should not respect their wives, but God knew that worldly parents would teach men more about respect and physical strength and women more about love and vanity. The world does not teach men enough about Love and it does not teach women enough about respect.
What the world does teach is deception. It teaches that we can find love through sex and that we can find respect through equality.
To prove my point about sex and equality, take out sex and equality from any marriage and see how long it will be before you have marital strife.
What does the Bible say about sex and equality? Actually there are many things, but I will start you with a few and then you can go from there. As I have said before, Biblegateway.com is a great resource for looking up Bible verses in the Bible of your choice. You can enter key words such as marriage and find all the verses with that word in it.
In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul begins by saying that it is better not to have sex.
1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
He continues on by explaining that sex is not good because the world has turned sex into sexual immorality. He also is saying that because of our sinful nature, marriage has changed and now has a new purpose.
2Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
He then states, that in marriages, men and women should give each other the affection they need, to prevent sexual immorality.
3Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Paul then tells us about himself and his gift of celibacy and how he wishes that all were like him, and would remain unmarried and celibate. He states that his opinion of marriage, is now a concession, but acknowledges that the desire for marriage can be a gift from God.
6But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
8But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
We also have Christ's teachings. After telling his disciples about the downfalls of marriage because of sexual immorality, Christ also taught about celibacy.
Matthew 19
Jesus Teaches on Celibacy
11 But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: 12For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."
So, because of our sinful nature, marriage and sex have become burdens instead of the gifts they were intended to be. And the Love that God had intended, got changed along the way.
Women were created as the weaker vessel, whether they like it or not. To respect your husband, you must accept this.
1 Peter 3
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
In a world where women have fought at the head of armies (i.e. Joan of Arc) and won Nobel Prize Awards (i.e.Marie Curie), it is hard to acknowledge them as the weaker vessel. But God uses who He wills, for His purposes, even when they are the weaker vessel. King David was a shepherd and a musician and was not the strongest of men, but he was made strong by God. God made woman comparable to man, but He had a purpose in mind for both of them.
Genesis 1
18And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."
28Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth."
Genesis 3
And Adam called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.
God created woman to be the mother of all living things and He created man to provide for her and their children. In this way the mother could be devoted to the child in pregnancy, childbirth and the training years of their children (training them to be God's lights in this world). During this time the father would provide for the needs of the woman and child. In order for a man and a woman to be fruitful and multiply God gave them the gift of sex. This was a gift that He didn’t have to give, but He did and His reasons came from a Pure Mind and Heart.
It was to be an affection that would keep the husband and wife close. It was so mankind would bear children and stay together as a family unit.
Because of the hardness of our hearts, sex became selfish and the original purpose was lost for so many. Sex became the foundation for marriages and when things got rough, it was easier to give it up. Besides, young men and women weren't taught about the Love and respect they needed to keep their marriages strong.
Hopefully now you are beginning to understand where mankind went astray and how love was lost and so was respect.
And now for my purpose for this article.
My hopes are that many will realize the importance of teaching their sons not to be lovers or warriors, but to be kind, gentle and humble to the woman God created for them to Love and respect. In this way you are teaching your sons about Loving a wife. Don’t worry, history has shown us that the world will teach them how to be lovers and warriors, whether you want it for them or not.
My hopes are that many will realize the importance of teaching their daughters not to be leaders or beautiful and vain, but to be a good and humble helper and encourager to the man that God created for them to Love and respect. This is the way to teach your daughters about respecting a husband. Don’t worry, history has shown us that the world will teach them how to be leaders and about vanity, whether you want it for them or not.
God and His Son commanded us to Love God and to Love each other and this cannot be done if we do not understand God and His purpose for making all of creation. God wanted a family and He wanted His family to understand the importance of being Loving and respectful, both to Him and to each other.
So now I say to you: Love and respect God above all things, and then Love and respect each other.
Dear Lord Heavenly Father and our Lord Jesus Christ, please help parents teach Your children the things that You want them to learn and not the things that the world wants them to learn. Amen
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Having just read your article, I'm blessed by your writing on the essence of love (rather than sex, for husbands) and respect (rather than equality, for wives). Just today, on my part, I've started teaching my two boys on the importance of faithfulness (the ability to trust God and overcome fear), gentleness (the ability to control anger) and self-control (the ability to control appetite/carnal desires).
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