Marriage
I remember when I used to live in an apartment by the shore of a small lake, and I used to walk around the lake several times a week...and thinking about that reminded me of our love.
I would set out after work to make that circuit - with the proper walking shoes on and my Walkman and tape to drown out the silence that I didn't want to hear. I would set a fast pace, looking straight ahead, walking with purpose but no real direction. I'd notice the distance-markers, and see how far along I'd walked, but not noticing my surroundings at all.
This was a chore you see, a task I'd set myself, for exercise I told myself - but I think that inside I knew that I was really running away.... or trying to anyway. That walk would use up some time, so there was less of it to know I was alone...the music from the tapes filled my head, so I wouldn't hear the silence there.
What a change God wrought, when I let Him into my heart, how He changed how I saw my life. And little did I know, that during all that time, He was preparing me to be with you. He soothed my spirit, taught me to be quiet with Him, to be still and know that He is God. He showed me how to slow down, to not run ahead of Him, to learn to follow His lead and not my own.
I could see the changes happen, although they all were inside, for later when I'd take the same walk...my pace was slower and more thoughtful, I'd pray along the way, and I began to see all that I'd not noticed before. The sound of the water lapping along the banks, the smell of the trees along the path.... the tiny flowers peeking out, the birds singing above my head, the joy that life could be filled my heart.
Little by little I healed, and by listening to Him, I learned to have trust, and hope and joy...and when I was ready, His timing was so perfect, He brought you into my life.
And then I knew why He'd taught me to hope, to have trust, so I'd believe Him, when He brought me to you...that there was second chances, there could be a love for me, He really would make my dreams come true. As we talked and we wrote, I kept asking Him "is this real? Is this really just for me?" And I could feel His smile shining through the words you'd write, and I knew it was true and right.
Now each day is like a new walk, a journey filled with joy, and though the direction it goes is unknown, every step that we take is filled with new discoveries, new delights we can share, you and me. The flowers along the way have never been so bright, the air so fragrant and soft, the breeze so fresh.... it brushes by and gently shakes the leaves in the trees, they murmur prayers as we pass by.... and my heart is so full of love and gratitude to the One who could create such joy, and I thank Him again for pouring His love out on me, just so I could give it to you.
© 2004
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